Our perfect little home birth story! As we welcome our third little baby here in the woods, we are grateful for another sweet, quiet birth at home. While this birth story was anything but uneventful, it was a safe and peaceful birth…
Birth Story Beginning: A Trying but Healthy Pregnancy
Every fun, crazy birth story has to begin with a long, slightly complicated pregnancy, right?! My pregnancy with baby number three was probably one of my healthiest while also the most challenging. Pregnancy-wise everything was going great, then in January at about seven months along I had a fall that damaged ligaments in my hip and pelvic area. For weeks I was in constant pain just doing daily life things.
I eventually had to see a physical therapist that gave me instructions to keep life as “low-key” as possible (laughable since I am a mom of two toddlers under the age of three!). However, she gave me a few exercises to hopefully strengthen my pelvic area going into labor.
The exercises and the natural increase in relaxin (the hormone that relaxes the ligaments before the body goes into labor) made the last month of the pregnancy much more tolerable!
Mentally, this was by far my easiest pregnancy. Even with the ligament injuries and physical hinderances. I felt amazing otherwise and was just in such a calm place in my mind. I was super nesty and had tons of creative energy!
Procrasti-nestor & Early Labor
Things progressed as usual through the pregnancy. We loved the midwife we had with our second born and first home birth so we definitely chose to work with her again. We plan to keep her for all our future babies if possible!
This was my first full term pregnancy. It looked like the 40 week mark had come and gone with no signs of labor even being close. I had been having a few Braxton Hicks but nothing that made me think labor was going to be any time soon.
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I was totally calm about this and not in any rush. My discomfort level was definitely rising but I was still plenty patient- fine with him taking his time.
Just when it seemed we had gone past the elusive “due date” I began having pretty consistent contractions at around 12am. At three babies I definitely know what is real labor but my main strategy is to ignore early labor and act as if nothing is really happening.
I think this is because if for some reason it was not real labor I would not get my hopes up or be “that person” that calls the midwife on a false alarm.
Regardless, I started doing some random nesting things I had been procrastinating- just case!
At around 3am I decided to get in the bath since it was probably real labor and I would not be sleeping any ways. My contractions were definitely not going anywhere at this point but they were totally manageable, good active labor contractions.
The Bees & Active Labor
My labor continued to progress after I got out of the bath and by around 6am when my husband got up for work they were lasting about a minute with 4-5 minutes between. I had texted my midwife at around 5:30 to let her know things were progressing. We began our pre-labor task list making sure everything was ready. I got in bed around 6:30am and tried to relax through each surge.
By this point in my labors I do not speak. I get very focused on just relaxing each part of my body, making it through the contractions. My husband knows this so he did not bother to tell me why he was in our closet, getting into the attic. But I was busy and really could care less what the world was doing at that point.
I was mid-contraction he came out of the closet swinging, saying something about bees! Apparently bees had gotten into the attic access and when he went to get our infant car seat down in case of emergency transfer (I told you, we’re procrastinators!) it stirred them up.
He was able to get things under control without letting any bees out of the closet or getting stung himself! My hero!!
The Communication Barrier & Transition
As I mentioned before, by later active labor, but especially in transition, I do not speak. Even between contractions my communication is very limited and the things I try to say I just honestly can’t get out well. At about 7:45am I felt like transition was starting to happen so I had my husband text the midwife. She started getting ready and heading out way (a 20 minute drive).
During this time things started to pick up fast. I was no longer timing contractions as I was just trying to relax through the intensity and catch my breath in between. Jimmy was able to recognize transition was taking place and began getting the birth pool inflated and filled.
And that’s when I had the sudden urge to push.
I argued with myself that I was just getting ahead of the game. My transition with my oldest two lasted several hours. I told myself, “It’s not time yet, you’ve only had like four transition contractions. Chill out, Tori!”
But the urge to push was happening with each contraction! However, I was still in complete denial mode and refused to believe this was actually really going to be over so quickly.
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The pool was still filling, just over the minimum fill line. I asked if he would help me get in. So between contractions we got me up and in the pool. This was when I knew was for sure pushing this baby out!
I managed to tell Jimmy, “I think I’m pushing.” (Because while I know exactly what my body is doing I am still in complete denial!). The midwife is still not on scene, since it’s only about 8am. Jimmy decided to call her at this point. Except she is on her way coming down the windy country roads to our house…and she lost service.
A Safe Delivery & a HUGE Surprise!
Since I’m still in total denial I decide to reach down and feel. That baby was totally crowning! On the next contraction my water broke and with a good push, a head was delivered! Another contraction soon followed and I caught a sweet, wiggly baby.
I pulled the baby close to my chest and began rubbing to clear the lungs and very quickly a strong, healthy cry was heard. All was well! Our midwife arrived just five minutes after.
The baby was perfectly healthy, safe and snug under a warm towel that I had put in the dryer hours early for this very occasion. I was feeling great, relaxed in the pool, just waiting to deliver the placenta.
After the placenta was delivered the baby and I got in bed, cord still attached to rest while the midwife and her assistant cleaned up then began the newborn/post delivery exam. Just before the exam and cutting the cord my midwife, Jimmy, and my mom were all discussing how much the baby weighed. They asked what I thought.
I decided to pull the towel off a bit so we could look at the baby and guess the weight before the newborn exam- just for fun!
And that is when we all discovered I was not in fact a girl mama…this was a baby BOY!!
From denial to denial, bees in the closet, to delivering my baby- we could not have ended this birth story on a more wild note than an incorrect gender screening! When they tell you that third baby is a wild card they mean it!
Birth Story Conclusion
In conclusion, this was honestly my most fun, crazy, wild birth! My main goal for this birth was to master transition. By “master” it, I mean, be able to stay completely relaxed and calm throughout the entire labor- even transition. While relaxing through took lots more work, I feel like the mission was accomplished!
I was able to go through the entire labor peacefully, smiling often, and in complete control of my responses.
Another goal as I entered active labor was to have this baby by morning, before the girls woke up. While I knew this was completely out of my control, God gave the girls a baby by morning. They woke up just 10 minutes after he was born! I was able to stay calm enough through pushing to keep them asleep- another silent goal I had going into labor.
Everyone pitched in to make sure this surprise boy was clothed in some manly looking clothes! Our little “tribe” came through for us with all the boy things we never expected we would need. We could not be more grateful!
We love you Malachi James, our fun little wild man!
Home Birth Story FAQ
I get lots of questions about home birth in general and several questions regarding this particular birth story. I thought it would be fun to add this section to answer your further questions…
- Why do we choose home birth? There are many reasons why we chose to birth at home. The main reason is feeling it is the safest option for us, permitting no complications occur during pregnancy for me or baby. You can read more about why we chose home birth in this post!
- Do I have water births at home? Yes, my midwife provides a birth pool at no extra charge, we just purchase the liner and hose. I was not sure I would enjoy a water birth but decided to try it with our first home birth. I have been sold ever since!
- Did they not see it was a boy on the ultrasound? The only ultrasound we had was at my confirmation appointment around 13 weeks (too early to tell gender in most cases). We never went back for any sort of anatomy scan since everything looked healthy for me and baby at the initial ultrasound. However, we do like to find out the gender so we did an at home blood test. It came back “GIRL”. We did know there was a very small margin of error on these tests so we actually joked throughout the pregnancy that it could be a boy. Although we thought it unlikely since it had been right about our oldest two being girls as well.
- How did we feel when we found out by it was a boy? I would say surprised is the best way to put it! Neither of us felt disappointed at all. It was a major mental shift trying wrap my mind around it for a few days. Our oldest (2) was very confused but both of the girls absolutely their brother!
- Was I scared when I delivered him without the midwife? Honestly, not at all. I have well prepared myself mentally on the chance that this ever happened. I know what to do if baby is not breathing right away, how to clear the airway, suction, and infant CPR. I also knew my midwife had to be very close if she lost cell service so that was reassuring.
- Did we still have to pay full price? Yes, we still paid our midwife full price. She was right on the scene as quickly as she could be. It was not her “fault” I was in denial, did not communicate, and that transition was much quicker this time than my previous births.
- Did you have a boy name picked out already? No, we had no backup name! We came up with Malachi James completely randomly and within about three hours of him being born. We had 10 days to decide a name but refused to call him “Little Buddy” longer than a few hours!
- Will you do a blood test again? We do not know for sure but I would say at this point, I would rather not know the gender than have the mental hassle of a surprise gender- even though it was a fun surprise.
