Hi there! We are Anna and Tori. Two moms living and loving early motherhood! We are not experts but we love to share our experience in hopes that some other young moms might find encouragement.
We have had three natural, unmedicated births between us, enjoyed the challenges and blessing of breastfeeding, and living out every day motherhood. Anna and I are both natural living enthusiasts, stay at home wives and mothers, and Christians. This is the lense we view motherhood through along with all its challenges.
Join us here on the blog for tips on natural birth, postpartum, and everyday motherhood!
This post we will be diving into some very practical, simple tips for the newborn season. This is one of the sweetest seasons of motherhood as well as the shortest! It can also be filled with hardship and challenges as you learn to navigate this mom thing. Here are our top tips for surviving, and thriving! in the newborn season.
1. Make sure you are getting enough sleep in the newborn season.
Sleep!? What is that?
I get you girl! It’s crazy town. This baby sleeps one hour, wants to eat two hours, and you haven’t showered in a year! I may sound slightly dramatic unless you are a mom of a newborn.
Not getting enough sleep makes the hard feel harder. If you have already had a baby or a few you do not need me to tell you that sleep needs to be a number one priority in the newborn season. However you have to do that, do it.
2. Get that newborn in the sunshine!
This goes along with prioritizing sleep. If your baby is having trouble with daytime/nighttime confusion or having sleep issues in general this tip is your lifeline. Even a baby that sleeps well will benefit from time outdoors. Getting outside will also help your body regulate your hormones, mama.
This may sound too simple but it works!
If you have a winter baby this can be tricky but I would definitely recommend bundling up every day or two and getting outdoors, even just for 15-30 minutes.
3. Eat Well and Stay Hydrated.
Again, seems so simple but a lot of the overwhelm, mental and hormonal issues we deal with as moms in the newborn season can be resolved by simply making sure we eat and stay hydrated.
A nursing mother functions best on at least 60, but optimally 80 grams of protein every day. You also need around 128 oz of water daily if you are breastfeeding. Eating and staying hydrated is a job all in itself! Not to mention feeding your baby.
I highly recommend going to every nursing session with a nutritious snack and a big tumbler of water (with a straw!).
4. Create a Cozy Space
Creating a cozy space to do the long nights or midday feedings can really help you relax and calm your mind. If you are like me (Tori) and you get agitated sitting still for too long try setting up several different places and go wherever you feel like. I had place outside, in the living room, and sometimes my bed was most comforting.
5. Embrace the Slowness of the Newborn Season.
As I eased out of the immediate postpartum stage, it was hard for me not to feel like I should be up doing things or going places. Or adjusting to it taking over an hour to get out the door. Just to get somewhere and have to go nurse for an hour (yes, it took an hour or more to nurse my baby). I would feel like I was holding up my family or pressure to do the things I used to do and at the same speed. Honestly, that’s laughable to think on now. You will never do anything at the same speed you did before babies. And that is ok, in fact, I think it’s in God’s perfect design. You owe others no explanations. Your purpose is to serve your family, to please The Lord, and your husband. Don’t worry about the rest. This is your calling, and there is nothing more important. You will learn how to work in ministry with your babies and be busy again. For now, embrace this season.
6. Colic is Real & what to do about it….
We want to address this topic intentionally. Colic can sometimes be thrown around as a blanket statement by doctors when they simply don’t know what is wrong. Colic is a generalized term for babies with consistent fussy or crying periods in the day or night, lasting a few hours usually. It is hard to have a colicky baby and can make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong.
Mama, you’re not doing a horrible job. You’re growing in this together, and there are going to be some “growing pains,” so to speak, along the way. We don’t believe in there being no reason for your baby to be crying. Your crying baby is trying desperately to communicate something to you. Now you’re going to go on a journey together to find the answer. Sometimes, you can try everything it seems, and still not find it, but we encourage you to keep looking. You are not a bad mom for being on this journey.
The first thing we would suggest if you think your baby is getting colicky is pause, listen to their cries, and lean into your intuition. It can literally be as simple as a hair around their big toe or pajamas that are too tight (this happened to me). See if that mothers intuition is telling you anything. (Side note to say if you are taking birth control, have an IUD, or have any outside influence to your hormones, it is possible that it can affect this mothering sense for women). If you’re sitting there, still so lost and have no idea what to do for your fussy little one, it’s okay! It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom!
The next thing to investigate would be tummy troubles. Does your baby get consistently fussy after you’ve eaten certain things (if nursing), or always after taking a bottle (if formula fed)? Could it be the bottle just isn’t a good fit for your little one, and they’re getting too much air? Try another kind. If you are bottle feeding, I can’t recommend enough to get a preemie flow nipple to start them with. They even have ultra preemie nipples if that is still too much. How about the formula? Could you try switching to a goat milk based formula, or one specifically for sensitive tummies? All formulas are not the same, so do your research, Mama. We would also recommend Earthley’s Infant Tummy Relief. Not as a sales pitch, but from Mamas who have used it and trust it. Doing bicycle legs can help relieve any uncomfortable gas baby has, too. Frida Mom makes a product called The Windi that can offer much relief from gas for baby. Just be sure and use coconut oil or another natural lubricant before inserting.
Some babies prefer side or belly sleeping, and this can make them extra fussy at bedtime. If you’re comfortable with other positions for your baby than back sleeping, you could try placing them to sleep a different way. Do your own research and lean into your intuition as this topic can be controversial.
Chiropractic care. This can help baby with so many issues (and Mama). You’ll often find that constipated babies will poop within 24hrs of an adjustment. Uptight babies will relax. If your baby isn’t nursing, one chiropractic adjustment can allow a baby to instantly latch. It is an amazing thing. When searching for a chiropractor, you want one certified to work prenatally and with infants. They should be easily identified as a family chiropractor, not just a picture of a middle-aged man with an aching back on the door. Common signs your baby could benefit from an adjustment are; head always pulled to one side (go through your million pictures of your newborn to check), signs of colic of course, constipation, gas, excessive spitting up, poor weight gain, not latching, preferring one breast over the other, etc.
And Mama, if you need to set your baby in a safe space for a few minutes and take a break, it’s ok! It can weigh heavily when you’ve been dealing with an inconsolable baby for hours. It’s ok to take a break as long as baby is safe. Sometimes it is safer for baby to be away from you for a few minutes. It’s ok! Ask for help if you need it! I promise other Mama’s will understand (if they’re honest). If it’s becoming too much, reach out for help from a trusted friend or family member to give you a break during the hardest times of the day.
7. Lean on Your Support System
We all need a break. This does not mean you are a bad mom, incompetent, or unable to do this baby thing! Throughout history women have thrived in the village scenario where everyone just helped one another.
In the U.S. our culture is quite opposite. We feel it is a weakness to ask. Or because the miles separate us some women find that they just do not have a support system in place.
If that is you can I just say- you can find one! There are moms everywhere just like you looking for a friend. I cannot recommend enough finding this support system in a local church that has a family mindset!
If you are not close to such a church or you live in a very small community try reaching out through social media to find other women in your area. Go to local parks and make some friends. You do not have to have a massive support system. Just a few others that you can help and that can help you!
8. Do something you love!
In all this new identity that is being MOM sometimes you can feel completely lost to who you are anymore. It is a role that completely takes you over- in such a good way! However, sometimes we all just need to do something that makes us feel us.
This does not make you selfish to acknowledge the fact that you still have basic needs as a human.
Find that thing (or a couple things) that spark happiness and remind you that there is life outside motherhood and all that it demands. You are still a person. Your world looks a whole lot different but you are still you.
9. Make sure you trust your pediatrician.
I know so many moms who just do not love their pediatrician. They do mot trust them. Many times they have to constantly challenge things or they have an icky feeling. So many moms feel trapped in a bad healthcare situation.
You have options! If your instincts even just feel “off” with your current provider there is always another way. I would rather drive a couple hours (or have no “assigned” pediatric care- hot topic!) than to take my baby to someone I did not trust!
Switching a care provider is easy and they do not even have to know why you left.
10. Trust your instincts.
It has already been stated in this post that God gave you incredible instincts when He made you this baby’s mom! It kind of comes with the package so to speak. (These instincts can be hindered by artificial hormones!)
They can be ignored or undeveloped but rest assured they are there. You have them! Trust your gut.
If you feel off concerning your child’s behavior, their health, maybe their healthcare as mentioned above. Whatever it is, lean into that intuition. Maybe it is wrong but I know so many cases where “better safe than sorry” played out in the area of a mom not trusting her gut.
You know your baby best!
11. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
If you are a first time mom, listen! You have never done this mom thing before. No matter how much experience you have had with kids, how many siblings you had, how many books you read to prep yourself….you have never done this.
We treat ourselves so harshly sometimes. Thoughts like, “I’m so stupid, why didn’t I think to check her diaper when she was crying for an hour?” Or, “Why can’t I seem to get on top of things? Other moms don’t struggle like this.”
All these thoughts and more are a very real part of motherhood. Even if this is your second or third baby these thoughts still swirl in our mind some days. “What if…” , “maybe I should have…” , “I should know this…”
We are all here learning how to be a mom every day. You’re in lifelong training! Treat yourself with grace.
12. This is not your “get it all done season”.
Do you have dishes piled up in your sink right now? How about them laundry baskets of three weeks of laundry that needs to be folded? Are you floors spotless?
Probably not. And that is more than okay!
As mentioned before, this season is short. In America get it all done culture is thriving and I am here for it!! I love being productive. It is one of the most fulfilling feelings to me. Checking off the to-do list, accomplishing tasks- it gets me excited just typing that!
It took me two babies to realize that the newborn season is not my season to get it all done. And at the same time, not getting anything done is not unproductive! What do I mean?
Just because you are not checking things off, have a spotless home, or feel the accomplishment of being productive does not mean that your baby did not need those extra snuggles! That time spent with them was not unproductive because it was going the work of forming an unexplainable bond that the two of you will benefit from for life.
There will be seasons when you need to get back up and get things in order. There are seasons of feeling productive once again. The newborn season is a short time when you can take this pressure off. Just be mama for a little bit!
13. It goes by fast.
We have mentioned this a few times in this post! We know in the thick of twenty dirty diapers a day, three hour nights of sleep, and the crazy postpartum hormones you probably feel like this is your life for the next fifty years. It’s not.
For better, and for worse, this sweet, crazy season will come to an end.
It became so old hearing this as an expectant mother. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe people, I knew it would. It just got old hearing it. However, now, on this side of things I am beyond grateful that people said it to me…..repeatedly. it made me stop in the sweet moments and savor them, it also made the really hard moments easier. Knowing it was all a passing season. They’re as little as they’ll ever be right now, in this moment. Don’t waste it being complacent. So remember through all the sweet and all the hard, it is passing, and it is passing fast.
14. It will get Easier.
I remember sitting there a few weeks in with my newborn, crying and thinking “How am I ever going to do anything or go anywhere ever again?”. Now we are able to work a bus route, do visitation and work youth camps all with baby in tow. Breastfeeding was hard. Learning my baby was hard (even though it felt natural). Trying to function on literally no sleep was hard. Being Mama to this little family felt so overwhelmingly hard at that moment, and even still does sometimes.
My point is that, yes, it is hard, but it will get easier. There will be a new hard to replace it, (sorry!) but that fresh postpartum season isn’t the normal forever. Breastfeeding won’t hurt forever. I now can cook supper with a baby latched and in the football hold. You will sleep again, eventually. You’ll learn what each of your baby’s cries means and be able to respond without even thinking about it. It will get easier, so just hang on.
15. Embrace the Season.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to just welcome this season with arms wide open. Embrace it for all that it is. It’s hard. It’s sweet. It’s exhausting. It’s emotional! It’s fast. It’s wild. It’s wonderful!
When you embrace the late nights and early mornings, the baby snuggles and baby cries, the changes in your body. When you take in all that this gift of motherhood is doing to you, in you, and for you- you become the best mom you can be! Don’t focus on the negative for to long, just accept it.
You’ve got this mama! You are doing way better than you think you are. God gave made you their mom and He made them your baby for a reason.
This season is a gift! Live it joyfully and you will not regret it.