Little Wife in the Woods

7 Things You Need to Know About the Postpartum Season

Postpartum- the fourth trimester. So many wonderful things about this season! You’re holding your sweet baby. Your body feels the relief of not having a human growing inside it.

It can also be a wild season. Hormones are getting back to normal. Sleep is a precious commodity. Your body looks different.

Likely your doctor or midwife has left you with some basic health and safety instructions before releasing you into the world of motherhood. Things to look for like too much bleeding, bleeding too long, postpartum depression, etc. However, most do not truly sit down and prepare you for this season.

It’s called the “fourth trimester” because so much is still actively changing in your mind and body that you might as well still be pregnant.

We’re here to discuss the things that we wish we would have known and things that helped us going into the postpartum season. We hope this post helps you as you prepare for your little one to arrive!

Click here to Read: How to Advocate for Yourself in a Hospital Birth

1. Everyone has a Unique Postpartum Experience

Among the mom community you will find so many differing experiences and opinions. Sometimes these opinions can be downright frightening! Some shared experience is helpful, but you must distinguish that it is just that- their experience.

The experience of others might not be your own. Your baby may be a great sleeper, and they may not be. Your hormones may regulate quickly or they might take a while to straighten out. Some of you have bodies that loose weight while breastfeeding- then there’s the rest of us!

Postpartum can be hard in so many ways, but not everyone’s “hard” is the same. Just because someone you know struggled with breastfeeding, it doesn’t mean you will. If your friend had postpartum depression it doesn’t mean you will. Postpartum can definitely be a rollercoaster, but don’t become so consumed with everyone else’s “hard” that you adopt it as your own.

Postpartum can be filled with some of the hardest moments of your life, but it’s also going to be filled with some of the most wonderful moments of your life. You know how to be tired, you know how to feel sad, you’ve cried before. But you know what you haven’t done before? Hold your baby and watch them drift to sleep in your arms. You’ve never smelt that newborn smell as they cuddle up against your face. You’ve never felt the joy of seeing those little eyes stare up at you in adoration.

2. Every Postpartum is Different

This follows closely with the point above. Every postpartum you have will be different and unique. The difference between my first postpartum and second were vastly different.

Just because you have a great experience with one does not mean the next will be as seamless. The same is true about the opposite! Just because you had a harder time with one does not mean the next will be as complicated.

Another thing I feel is vital to mention- preparation does not mean it will be easy.

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With my second I felt so prepared! I knew what was going on this time. I knew what the “hard” was. This time I was going to be prepared!!

It was around my fifth month postpartum that I realized there are some things you just can’t prepare for. Hormones are out of your control. Every baby is different.

Now I am not saying that knowing what to expect and being prepared for the things in my control was not a huge help! However, just embrace the fact that some things are being control. They are normal, beautiful parts of becoming a mama.

3. Take Time to Heal

Taking time to heal postpartum is so important! Bounce back culture has made us feel like we are broken if we need more time to heal. Listen to your body!!

Click here to read: My All-Natural Positive Birth Story

It does not matter if Aunt Janna was up moving around, making biscuits three hours after she had a baby. In Christian culture it’s a major flex for who can get back to church the soonest after giving birth! If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “We were in church Sunday the same week she was born!” I’d be a rich woman.

You have a wound inside your body the size of a dinner plate. If someone had a wound on the outside of their body like that, I don’t believe we would expect nearly as much of them as we are expecting of ourselves. Your ability to care properly for your baby and future babies depends upon you giving your body the time it needs to recover. The general rule is five days in the bed, five days on the bed, and five days around the bed. That doesn’t mean you return to normal after those two weeks, either. Give yourself time, and if you have help, use it.

We all have different capacity. Some of us heal faster than others. A lot of women can do long term damage to their bodies by not allowing things to heal properly before getting back to it. Just because your body is not telling you does not mean you will not reap the consequences later. Rest mama! Ease back into routines. Nothing means more to your family that that you are healthy.

4. You Need a Support System

Having a support system in place is essential to the postpartum season. I think most of us have a support system but we do not like to utilize it. We feel like a burden, an inconvenience, or that we are weak if we cannot handle it all on our own.

But sometimes we are weak. Sometimes we can’t handle it all on our own. Sometimes we need to just let people love on us!

Here are some tips on how to utilize your support system in the postpartum season….

Ask.

Sometimes it’s as simple as just telling people what you need! Think ahead to the things that will be hard for you. Things you have a hard time keeping up with now will not get easier in the postpartum season.

Ask specifically.

This is key! Especially when it comes to your husband. Don’t just ask for help. No one Can read your mind. No one knows better than you how to help you best!

If you are receiving support but constantly feel like you have no help you may not be asking the right way.

To some moms help looks like holding the baby while she gets it all done! (Rage Cleaning!!)

To others it looks like someone helping with the laundry and dishes while she nurses and holds the baby.

Meals

Nothing is more supportive to me than not having to worry about food. Ask a friend you trust to organize a meal train for you! P.s.- you are allowed to make rules like bring food but don’t touch the baby, or asking people to leave it on your doorstep so they don’t disturb you!

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Childcare

Having other children to care for in the postpartum season can be exhausting. Ask for help watching the other(s) for while so you can take a nap, have quiet time, or clean.

Support for Dads

Dads are the best! They are the main support system for the postpartum season but they get tired too! It’s a big adjustment all the way around. Having support for him by way of an outlet (hunting, golf, etc.) is a great way to allow him to release some stress.

When your support system is limited…

Right after giving birth to my second baby we became sick for weeks on end. Every week sometime came down with sickness…same sickness, different sickness, recurring sickness. It was wild!

So for months (literal months!) I was stuck at home postpartum with two under two, afraid to ask for help for fear of others catching our sickness or us catching something else! My husband was back to work and had multiple things on his plate so I felt limited in help from him.

I say all that for this reason- maybe some of you have a very limited support system. Military families, divorced or widowed, living far away from family and friends, missionary families, or just not having support you can count on. Or things you have no control over like sickness!

My first bit of advice would be to make sure you have virtual support lined up. In today’s world we really always have access to support! Tell far away friends and family that you will need extra calls /texts during this time. Reach out when you just need to vent!

If friends and family live far away I highly recommend you start building a support system around your community! This can sound scary if you are an introvert like me. However, it is critical.

Church is a great place to start! I can’t imagine what I would do without the support of my church family! Find mom groups in your community, or even start one! Whatever you have to do, get some friends in your corner and you be in theirs.

Lastly, do not obsess about the fact that your support system is limited. This is where I failed. It got in my head! I was obsessing over the hardship and the loneliness. Instead focus on the help you do have, take advantage of nap time, let this season shape you for the better.

Click here to read: Pain Management Tips for a Natural Birth Experience

5. Learn the Danger Signs of the Postpartum Depression

Your medical professional should go over this with you. However, I think it is important to note what you should be aware of…

Blues vs Depression

Feeling sad, frustrated, or angry at times are all normal parts of postpartum. This is often referred to as “postpartum blues”. Along with crazy emotions you may cry a lot, feel kind of fuzzy in your brain, and just out of it. This is because your hormones are shifting back to “non-pregnant” mode.

Blues can last a couple of days to a couple of weeks. They can occur off and on. However, they should steadily start to fade off/occur less in the six to eight weeks after birth.

Postpartum depression is opposite. It steadily gets worse as postpartum continues. It can also occur at any time within the first year of postpartum. Meaning, you might feel fine the first six months of the postpartum season and things just seem to hit you out of the blue for no reason.

When you should seek help.

You should talk to your doctor or midwife if things are not getting any better after you have experienced symptoms of depression for several weeks. Or immediately if you have continued thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Symptoms of depression include anxiety, difficulty sleeping, appetite changes, racing thoughts, thoughts of self harm, and many more you can find on Google.

6. Your Life is About to Change

You know this. But you don’t know this! You are likely aware that adding a tiny human to your world is going to change a lot of things in your life. No one can prepare you for what extent your life is about to change!

We definitely do not have all the answers for each individual mama who is reading this post. (We wish we did!!). However we thought we would give you some things we wished we would have known about how certain aspects were going to change us…

Your body is going to change.

I think we all know this. Maybe not to the extent we do after we have that baby! So here’s the honest truth mama, you are going to look in the mirror and, more than likely, you are not going to feel comfortable in your own skin.

That is normal and that is okay.

You have just made a human, maybe multiple humans! And unless you have hit the genetic jackpot you probably do not look like you did before you gave birth. It’s okay to feel sad about this while happily holding the person who did this to you! (It’s even okay to cry about it.)

You are going to be just fine. You will find clothes that fit you. There are workouts! Embrace your amazing body that just worked so hard to make this sweet little baby.

Your marriage is going to change.

You are no longer just “man and wife”. Learning how to be husband and wife while becoming dad and mom can be a hard thing to navigate. Here are a few things to remember.

  • You are both new at this. If this is your first baby, neither of you knows how to be a mom or dad. You are both learning.
  • Score keeping is a trap. “I changed three diapers today, he only changed one!” Sounds petty? Not when you’re a as n exhausted postpartum mom! Your mind will get the better of you if you allow it to start keeping score.
  • Make time. Your marriage is going to be okay- if you make time to keep it alive. You have to prioritize one another. This can be so hard as a new mom! But you can do this.
  • Communicate. He is not a mind reader. Unfortunately! Chances are you are married to a great man who wants to help you. You just have to tell him how.

You are going to change.

Apart from your body changing- you are going to change. You might feel broken for a while (maybe not!) but you’re turning into a mom! It’s a beautiful transformation where selfishness is not an option.

I remember after back to back pregnancies waking up postpartum to have no clue who I even was any more. I for sure was not who I was a year ago! For a while this felt so overwhelming. Like I was in a desperate search to find myself and get me back. Until one day I realized that I was not who I was a year ago, and I never would be. That girl was not a mama.

So yes, you will be different. Your life will change. But you are becoming exactly who you need to be for the people who need you. That is a beautiful transformation!

Click here to read: 5 Reasons to Consider Natural Birth

7. It’s Just a Season

I wish that someone would’ve told me that postpartum comes in waves. The biggest wave is the immediate postpartum time. But there are several other waves to ride. For a lot of moms, it comes at the three, six, nine month marks and also one year. So far, I would say that has been true for me, with the exception of the nine month wave coming at seven to eight months.

When riding that first immediate postpartum wave, one of my biggest struggles was the constant feeling that someone was going to take my baby away from me. I could be sitting in my home, and my mind would play scenes of someone bursting through my door and snatching my baby from my arms while I was helpless to stop them. At the store, I would be watching for someone to try to take his carseat and run. It was intense, but it was a season. The intensity of those feelings did not last forever. To be honest, there are times I still struggle with those feelings, but they are in much more manageable waves now, though.

At the six month mark, I experienced severe nightmares. I would dream of finding my baby lifeless in different places. It was one of the hardest waves for me. Once again, it’s a season. A very short season.

At the seven to eight month mark I started dealing with feeling extremely angry. Not at my child or husband. Just angry for no reason. No cause, just on the inside, I felt absolute rage. It was completely controllable, I never acted on it. It was just a constant battle to keep it under control. It was definitely my shortest season, though.

Let me add in, postpartum is not a free pass to act on every urge and impulse because you’re hormonal. We still are responsible for ourselves and our actions. (This is, of course, excluding severe postpartum cases that come with a medical diagnosis.)

Yes, all of this sounds like a lot, but we just want to be honest with what we’ve dealt with, so if you’re facing it too, you know it’s normal and you’re not alone. Please remember that in between these hard moments we’re sharing about are some of the most wonderful times of your life. You’re snuggling your newborn, growing and learning together. It’s a beautiful time, even with all of the hard. We share in honesty not to make you dread it, but so you’ll know you’re right on track. Not every postpartum season will be the same. Some are more severe than others, and some don’t struggle at all (so jealous). There have been hard moments, but they have nothing to compare to the joy this season of life has brought.

Mama, for better or for worse, postpartum is just a season. The bad things will soon fade away. And so will the sweet things. Embrace it, live it, feel it. It will pass as quickly as it came. Lean on your support, let yourself change, and know that you were made for this!

-Tori
[jetpack-related-posts]

The Pros and Cons of Home Birth: Everything You Need to Know Before You Decide

Disclaimer: This is not a medical blog nor is it written by someone with medical expertise. This is simply the pros and cons of home birth from my experience having had a home birth with my second child. Please consider all the risks/benefits of a home birth with your own situation in mind before deciding to birth at home.

Is a Home Birth Right for You?

How do you know if you should have a home birth? It is the trendy thing to do these days but is what is best for you and your baby?

I’m here to answer this question as a mom who peacefully birthed my second baby at home. I have had both experiences in a short amount of time (fourteen months between births) so I feel that I can offer a wide range perspective. Here is my take on the topic…

1. Consider the health of mother and baby during pregnancy.

A healthy pregnancy does not guarantee a perfect labor/delivery but it may help you decide if a home birth is right for you. If things are off with your health or baby’s health as your pregnancy progresses you definitely need to weigh the risks and benefits of a home birth more closely. There are certain health issues that would have seriously affected my decision to birth at home.

  • Birth defects of baby involving organs or limbs.
  • History of major complications during natural birth or postpartum on mother’s side of the family or a previous birth of my own.
  • History of serious illness/defects at birth or infant death during birth on either side of our families.
  • Severe preeclampsia during pregnancy.
  • History of premature labor with other pregnancies. (You cannot legally give birth at home until 36 weeks gestation in most states.)
  • Previous severely underweight or severely overweight babies.
  • Other issues specific to each pregnancy.

2. A safe distance from hospital.

In most cases, if you have a great midwife who monitors carefully and doesn’t take risks, the probability of needing an emergency transfer is very low. However, birth is wild! Anything can happen. This means you should be prepared for anything and everything.

A part of preparation is knowing the fastest route to the nearest hospital. Peace of mind comes with knowing you and your baby are close to emergency care if necessary. I do not know what is considered a “safe” distance. Most of us probably have different views on this. I can say, we are 20 minutes from the nearest hospital and that felt safe to me.

Does your coffee support your values? Seven Weeks coffee is saving lives by donating 10% of every purchase to pro-life causes that give women access to ultrasounds, prenatal care, and mental health support- ultimately saving lives of precious babies! Not only does it support pro-life values, but the coffee is tastes amazing, is direct trade from trusted farmers, and is mold/toxin free. If you are looking for an active way to support the right to life try out Seven Weeks! Use my link below and the code TORI10 at checkout to save 10% on your first order.

Click here to Shop!

3. Previous natural labor and delivery.

Some states allow midwives to administer medication during labor. However, it is wise to know for sure that you can deal with the mental and physical pressure of having a baby naturally. This is not to say that if you are home birthing your first baby you reconsider! You can definitely do this!!

Personally, I think it would be very embarrassing to plan a home birth, then have to bail on labor day because I could not manage the pain of childbirth.

If this is your first birth and you desire to do it naturally at home or the hospital the key is preparation! Spend time preparing your mind and body. Learn the techniques of managing your thoughts and the discomfort of birth before hand.

4. You have a strong support system.

A strong support system is great for any birth situation! Home birth especially requires a network of people you live and trust. Most hospital stays for a healthy mother and baby last 24-36 hours. This means someone is a push of a button away at all times to get you water, help you to the bathroom, hold the baby, or whatever else you might need.

Home birth does not come with this package, unless you can convince your midwife or a doula to come live with you for a few days! You will want to have help that you can trust with things like meals, babysitting other children, cleaning, and more for the first few days after birth. I highly recommend the entire week after (for home or hospital birth) if you can manage that.

This might feel odd if you are not used to asking for help. (I for sure haven’t mastered it!). But the truth is in many cases, people want to help you. Let them be there for you!

Pros of Home Birth

1. 24/7 Access to Your Midwife.

Midwife or best friend? She’s honestly all the things! The person you can ask anything to. World class problem solver. Emotional support. Wealth of wisdom and knowledge on all things pregnancy, baby, and postpartum! One of the biggest pros of having a home birth is having a midwife on call 24/7.

Our midwife came to the rescue so many times during my pregnancy with quick answers to medical questions. She actually came to my house one day to check my vitals- just simply for my peace of mind! My midwife also only did home visits for prenatal appointments and I cannot tell you what that meant to me as a mother of a fresh one year old who could barely walk!

2. Comfort.

There is nowhere more comfortable to have a baby than in your own home. I would never recommend choosing your own comfort over the health and safety of your baby. However, if you are a healthy woman and there is no reason to suspect any complications with birth or baby- you will never be more comfortable or at peace than when you are laboring and birthing at home.

  • The ability to move freely without monitors or IVs.
  • The comfort of your own bed.
  • No interruptions from nurses, doctors, or staff during labor or postpartum.
  • No time apart from baby.
  • Let’s not even talk about them random noises of a hospital room- the beeps, talking, and humming sounds are enough to make you go insane!

3. Cost

Maybe a weird reason to have a baby at home but in many cases it is cheaper to have a baby at home than the cost of having your baby in the hospital with insurance! Total cost for our home birth was $4,500. This included all my prenatal visits, the delivery, a midwife, a student midwife, several postpartum visits, and lactation support. My delivery at the hospital with insurance coverage was more than the cost of the home birth. This is not including all my prenatal visits, ultrasounds, etc.

The cost combined with the benefits of being more comfortable, safer, and the other benefits was enough to sell us on home birth!

4. Safer.

This one is controversial so let me clarify.

  • Based on several studies home births are less likely to require interventions such as pain medication, forceps, vacuums, and emergency c-sections making a home birth safer for a healthy or “normal” birth.
  • Based on several studies home births are safer and pose less risks for infection of mother and baby than a hospital birth.
  • Based on several studies the likelihood of a safe natural, unmedicated delivery of a healthy baby at home is higher than the chances of having an unmedicated, birth with no interventions in the hospital.

In other words, for a healthy mother giving birth to a healthy baby with a qualified midwife a home birth is statistically safer than a hospital birth.

The research is yours to do but it’s all there! Risks/probability and benefits all must be considered for your specific situation.

5. No system to work through.

Aside from the matter of safety and less interventions in a home birth, the system of the hospital birth scene is atrocious. Government officials who know little or nothing medically speaking are making calls for the whole system. Politicians who make the rules are lining their pockets from pushing medications, procedures, and practices that are unnecessary for the birth of a baby.

When you birth your baby at home you are the sole decision maker without push-back and confrontations from the professionals. Whether you have confidence in the system or not is completely up to you. However, we all deserve the right to choose what we believe is best for our children without confrontation or guilt.

This was a big step in choosing home birth. I will not debate my stance on things like vaccinations, certain medications, and interventions in pregnancy and beyond. That is a whole other post! However, I did not appreciate having to even discuss my decisions with the professionals at every turn. No woman in labor should feel the need to argue or justify her decision with doctors. She should not feel untrusting that her wishes/desires would be granted or that someone would do something behind her back she feels is unsafe for her child.

6. Immediate connection of the family unit.

Many hospitals do well at trying to unit the family as soon as possible but there is nothing like a mother being immediately connected with her baby uninterrupted! Or siblings getting to meet their baby minutes after birth. Home birth even offers father’s the ability to deliver or catch their children with the assistance of a midwife if needed.

7. No unnecessary adjustments.

The adjustment of going from the hospital then back home is so much on a mother and baby. All the constant noise of the hospital, the lack of rest, and the assistance from others does not help a family adjust as well as a home birth.

Read all about my hospital birth in this post!

When baby is born at home they are able to snuggle right into their own bed, be constantly close to their own people, and more quickly adjust to breastfeeding. The mother is gets more rest without being interrupted, and has more time to connect with her baby. The family has more time to adjust to things without the prolonged process of the hospital stay.

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Cons of Home Birth

1. No immediate access to emergency care.

Having a home birth means no immediate access to emergency care beyond what a midwife is trained to perform. Most midwives are equipped with the same basic knowledge as an OB-GYN and nurses. They carry oxygen for mom and baby, are equipped to handle minor hemorrhaging, and can at least help get you to help quickly if there is a problem. However, they do not have all the access to life saving equipment that hospitals/NICUs have. If you are considering a hospital birth the same is true of a hospital without a NICU and pediatric staff.

There is risk involved in every birth. Knowing the risks/probability of an emergency arising is critical in a home birth. Having a midwife with a wide range of experience and knowledge is key!

2. Chance of an unassisted birth.

The chances of a medically unassisted birth is higher in the case of home birth due to a midwife being too late or hindered from being there by traffic, road blockages, etc. For instance my midwife arrived just 45 minutes before our baby was born and may have missed it altogether had our baby not been breech. This did not bother me, in fact, I preferred to be uninterrupted I until absolutely necessary. I thought her timing was perfect!

Preparing for what you might need to do in case of an unassisted birth is a great idea just in case the need for the knowledge arises. Be sure your husband is also aware of the possibility and prepared to assist you.

The good thing about a planned home birth is that you will have access to a midwife via phone even in the case of her being delayed. She can calmly walk dad or you through exactly what you need to do. If she is unavailable 911 can assist you.

3. Postpartum Care is on Dad.

One thing that can be a little tricky about having a home birth is that dad has a lot of weight on him. It can kind of make you feel like a burden asking for more this or that, especially when you have another child he is looking after as well. The biggest key to this is communication. Voice when you feel like a burden and make sure he is comfortable to voice when he needs a break. Prepping things like a snack basket, a postpartum care kit with all the things you will need after a baby, and a basket of baby items close by will keep dad from having to run around grabbing things for you all day. Make sure he is familiar with where things are before hand as well so that you do not have to explain where everything is at.

Another way to lesser the job for dad is to have a good stash of freezer dinners and easy meals. Lean on your support system for other things like child care, food, and cleaning. By the end of a long day of home birth dad will likely be just as exhausted as you are so make sure you both have a plan for getting rest after.

4. The temptation to overdo.

The temptation to overdo it right after you give birth is stronger in my experience. After a natural, relaxed home birth you honestly feel like you could conquer the world! The adrenaline is pumping and the urge to do all the things you did not get done before baby starts to creep up. Having a plan (and sticking to it) for postpartum recovery is essential! This looks different for everyone- you know your body best. Just remember to relax and recover. The dishes can wait and the baby snuggles are worth a messy house for a bit.

5. Traumatic birth.

This is one is rare, however it did cross my mind when deciding on a home birth. What if something went wrong. In the small chance that things became very traumatic or worse you have to come back at the end of the day and live in the house where it “all went wrong”. That thought is a bit overwhelming and you really do have to consider the possibility or something going wrong in any birth situation- home or hospital. The way I overcame this was realizing that the possibility was very small (based on all we knew about my health, baby’s health, and having a midwife who does not take risks) and that no matter what happened there would be grace to make it through whatever we faced in labor and beyond.

Have you had a home birth? Are you considering it? We hope this article helps you make the best decision for your family. Leave a comment below and share your experience or drop a question. We love hearing from you!

Check out more of our blog posts on natural birth, motherhood, real food, and natural living!

Why We Decided Not to Vaccinate our Babies: Thoughts by Moms for Moms
Wife and Motherhood Posts

Why We Decided Not to Vaccinate our Babies: Thoughts by Moms for Moms

How to Prepare Your From Scratch Kitchen for the Holiday Season

How to Prepare Your From Scratch Kitchen for the Holiday Season

Mom Fails: A Humorous Collection of Our Not So Finest Motherhood Moments

Mom Fails: A Humorous Collection of Our Not So Finest Motherhood Moments

8 Things to Try When You Are Not Enjoying Motherhood

8 Things to Try When You Are Not Enjoying Motherhood

[jetpack-related-posts]

5 Reasons to Consider Natural Birth

Disclaimer: Our purpose in this natural childbirth series is never to shame a mother who chose something different. We desire to educate mothers so that they can make informed decisions. There are so many things mothers do not get told before consent in the medical world, and also just because of the culture around childbirth. We want to support and provide a resource for those desiring a less medicalized experience. If you made that choice previously or unplanned interventions end up happening during your birth, it does not make you less of a mother. Our desire is never to look at another mother doing her best in judgment. We’re all in this together, learning and growing in this crazy, bumpy, wonderful motherhood journey.

What is a Natural Birth

There are so many opinions swirling around out there about natural birth. Many people view a natural birth as simply a vaginal birth, or non c-section. Some people would say that it is a birth without an epidural but other “more natural” options are acceptable.

Around here when referring to a natural birth here’s what we mean…

A natural birth is a vaginal delivery of a baby without the use of pain medications (like an epidural) and minimal to no interventions. It is allowing nature to take its course as much as possible. Natural birth van take place at home, in a hospital, or at a birthing center.

Our main passions for natural childbirth is birth without conventional pain medications, minimal interventions, and a mother truly tuning into her body as it works with her to birth her baby. It truly is a miraculous experience that only those who have had the honor of knowing it can understand.

** It is empowering and is the beginning of releasing the strength, intuition, and confidence you will need throughout your mothering journey. **

Anna Bourdess

Click here to read Anna’s natural hospital birth story!

1. Birth is not an Illness.

Baseline…sick people need medication. Birth is not a sickness, disease, or even a symptom that needs treatment. Birth is a natural, normal part of life.

Now, if you have a pre-existing condition or some other medical reasoning that arises to NEED medication, intervention, or assistance then please use it! That is what it is there for. There is a place for it and we are beyond thankful that we have these options in these times.

However, if you are a healthy person, giving birth to an otherwise known healthy baby- you do not need to treat birth as an illness that requires medication.

Birth is not an illness requiring treatment or medical intervention. Neither is it something to be feared. Rather, it calls for us to get out of our own way and get in tune with how God designed our bodies to work. Birth is natural, instinctual, and miraculous. We desired to experience birth in as natural a way as we could. To approach our deliveries with knowledge and confidence in our Creator and His design.

Anna Bourdess

2. This pain is different.

If this is your first baby, or first natural birth you may be thinking, “But how am supposed to not fear the pain of birth?” You have probably seen highly dramatized, unrealistic portrayals of birth from Hollywood. Maybe you have listened to all the horror stories of moms who had a bad experience with a natural birth. Or maybe you are just surrounded by people who have only ever had a medicated birth that say things like, “I could never have an unmedicated birth! It’s the meds for me!!”

Maybe they are right. But I am assuming if you are here that you want to try. Perhaps something in you is just a little bit curious about this natural birth thing. As a mom of two born naturally let me just say…

This pain is different. It is productive pain. Not like the pain of an injury or broken bone. This pain (I prefer to say “discomfort”) is productive pain. Every contraction in assisting your body and baby to get your baby out.

It also is not constant, excruciating pain for the entire labor. Contractions build, intensify, then decrease and subside. Each one is like a wave. It comes, builds higher and higher, then bottoms out and disappears. Often all but the last few hours of birth are filled with very mild, and very spaced out contractions.

Earthley

Here’s how to make it through the pain of an unmedicated birth…

One contraction at a time.

That all, mama! You don not need to fear or anticipate the pain as if it were something terrible that you just will not survive. All you need to do is make it through this one contraction. After that one, you just have to make it through the next. Again and again you will make it through and you will be one step closer to meeting your baby!

Read all about how to manage pain naturally here!

3. Epidurals: What They Are and What They Do

Probably the most common medication administered during labor is the epidural. Neither myself nor Anna has ever had one but they described to be (by most women), a magical end to all the pains of childbirth! They have been praised as “the only way to have a baby” for years now.

If you are a first time mom all the epidural moms will tell you, “Just get the epidural!”

That’s great if you want one but we are here to educate, not just go along with what society says is “safe” and acceptable.

What is an epidural?

An epidural is a numbing medicine given by inserting a needle and a catheter (a small, flexible tube) into the lower part of the mother’s back. The needle is removed, but the catheter remains to deliver pain medication as requested throughout labor.

Hormones Involved in Labor and Beyond

*The following content was written from a study by Anna Bourdess.

Here is how your body naturally secretes different hormones and endorphins to bring your baby into the world.

Oxytocin
Also known as the “love hormone,” oxytocin is involved in contractions, fertility, intimacy, milk release, and birth. It stimulates contractions that help thin and dilate the cervix, move the baby out of the birth canal, push out the placenta, and limit bleeding.

Endorphins
Endorphins are calming and pain-relieving hormones that increase as labor progresses and pain intensifies. They are produced when you face stress or pain. Think of them as your body’s natural morphine during labor.

Earthley

Adrenaline
Also known as the “fight or flight” hormone, adrenaline is secreted in response to stress, fear, and extreme pain. Too much adrenaline can slow or stop labor. If you come into your birth uninformed and unprepared, it can create a lot of stress and release adrenaline, which will greatly hinder the progression of your labor.

Prolactin
Also known as the “mothering hormone,” prolactin has many roles, including being central to milk production. It is also responsible for assisting your baby in the transition to life outside the womb, like rerouting the circulatory system to exclude the placenta and include the lungs. Birth truly is a miracle.

How an Epidural Effects Natural Hormones in Labor

*The following content was written from a study by Anna Bourdess.

When a mother decides to have an epidural, she turns off the signals going to her brain to avoid the discomfort. Studies show that in doing this, it greatly hinders or even cuts off completely the natural release of these crucial hormones. These hormones and endorphins are intended to be passed to the baby also, to relieve discomfort during labor, including moments of oxygen deprivation and molding of the head to pass through the pelvis. They are feeling that emotional “warm hug” from the oxytocin your intelligent body is sending them. They get relief from the endorphins sent as a natural pain reliever to them. Birth is as intense for the baby as it is for the mother. When we choose to turn off the discomfort, we might be feeling nothing, but our baby, in turn, is feeling everything.

I understand that is hard to read and think about, but we feel mothers should be aware of all factors. There are times that an epidural can be a benefit to a laboring mother and even a necessity, and we understand that. We don’t want to put guilt and shame on any mother for her choices. However, one of our core beliefs is that mothers deserve the truth, even if it is hard to hear.

Be empowered by your choices, Mama. Know why you make your decisions. You don’t have to go along with what anyone says. Only you know what is best for yourself and your baby. Come into your birth with the wealth of knowledge to be prepared to make the hard decisions. Even if your birth doesn’t go as you planned, you can have no regrets in the decisions you made because you were informed, but it takes work on your part to do that.

Anna Bourdess

Epidural Complications

Another one of my (Tori) top reasons for anti-epidural birth is due to the risk of complications with or from an epidural. There are chances of an epidural completely not working or only numbing half the body (which would greatly effect the mind if you are expecting an escape!). There are also risks of pto longed or permanent damage beyond labor and delivery caused by epidurals.

Of course, there are risks to any medical procedure, and while they are considered rare, the possibility of spinal headaches, paralysis, blood clots, chronic back pain, and nerve damage are still risks you have to assess for yourself. The potential side effects that are considered less serious include blood pressure drops for you and your baby (this can be helped by changing positions and giving the mother fluids), headaches, nausea, itching and so on. You should also be aware that some of the anesthetic and opioid (epidural) medications will reach your baby. It is considered a safe amount by the medical community, but it is still something you should be aware of and even research for yourself to see if you’re comfortable with.

We’re not here to give scare tactics. Those are simply facts, and I have found a lot of women were never told these things were even a possibility when “consenting” to an epidural. That is not true informed consent. Look up the statistics yourself (from a trusted source) and weigh the risks versus benefits for your situation. Then make your decision. That is informed consent.

4. The Cascade of Interventions

This was probably one of the top reasons going into my first birth that I (Tori) was absolutely against a medicated birth. Research is showing that one medical intervention usually leads to more and more, maybe even the possibility of c-section. (Again, we are not saying that all interventions are unnecessary.)

The cascade of interventions often looks like this…

  1. Induction. Due to being “overdue”, doctors pushing for a scheduled delivery, possible under/overweight baby (they get this wrong all the time!!), or an actual medical complication your doctor will schedule you to be induced. This can be done various way but all involve forcing your body and baby into a labor they are not naturally ready for.
  2. Pitocin. Because your body and baby were not ready for labor, your doctor will want to start moving things along with Pitocin. Pitocin is the synthetic of oxytocin, a hormone your body naturally makes on its own during labor to help things progress. However, when an induction is performed or things get rushed along with Pitocin labor intensifies at an unnatural rate.
  3. Epidural/other drugs. Because your labor is intensifying at an abnormal rate the pain becomes harder to manage. Often mothers are already exhausted at this stage because the induction/Pitocin stage can last several hours. This leaves mothers feeling like they have no other option than to get the epidural.
  4. Baby/Mother vitals drop/increase. Administration of an epidural or length/stress labor causes the baby’s body (or mother’s body) to go into distress. In an infant this often looks like an abnormal fetal heart rate pattern and is deemed an emergency situation.
  5. Use of vacuum/forceps. Because it is an emergency situation the doctor will undergo the process of either extracting the baby with a vacuum or the use of forceps. Both are said to be extremely painful and can cause major trauma surrounding birth.
  6. C-section. If use of vacuum/forceps fails or is not an option, you will be rushed into an emergency c-section situation.

*The cascade of interventions applies wherever you “jump in” at. It may or may not go this way for you but the research shows that the chances of the cascade grow higher and higher with each intervention. It also shows that use of medication drastically increase the chances of needing an emergency c-section. Do your research mama!

Studies show that receiving an epidural increases a mother’s chances of requiring other interventions such as Pitocin (to stimulate contractions), assisted delivery (forceps or vacuum), and even a Cesarean section. This is due to the hindrance of the natural production of hormones your body relies on to instruct it during labor.

Earthley

Your personal situation greatly impacts the risks versus benefits of this decision for you. Consider your reasoning for desiring pain medication for labor. See what the benefits versus risks are for your circumstances and lean into your intuition. If your reason is because you don’t think you’re capable, I promise you are, Mama. You were literally created for this purpose. It will take some time to exercise your intuition and learn how to listen to your body, but you are absolutely capable.

5. Enjoyment.

As strange as it sounds I (Tori) NEED to FEEL labor. I enjoy feeling what my body is doing and the thought of that being numbed really just intimidates me, along with the other reasons we have already stated. The idea that I have no clue what is happening when there is so much happening would drive me crazy. Each “painful” feeling in labor is happening for a reason. It is there to signal us when things are off and to keep that momentum going as things naturally progress.

Click here to read all about my positive home birth!

Whether you are here out of curiosity, education, or you want a natural birth and you need some mindset encouragement- there is nothing like the experience of a natural birth!

Yes, it is uncomfortable- maybe even painful!

Yes, you will be exhausted.

No, it is not a walk in the park!

Have you heard about Earthley Wellness? As a mom of two under two I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for over two years. This means very limited options for cold/flu, cough, headache medications that are safe for my baby and do not effect my milk supply. Earthley’s Feel Better Fast offers relief from these symptoms that WORK! Feel Better Fast is completely safe for use during pregnancy/breastfeeding, is 100% toxin free, and is made completely from herbs/only natural ingredients. Use my link below and the code CHOOSENATURAL to get 10% off your first order!

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But it is beautiful! The act of choosing the pain because you know it is what is best for your baby. The laying down of what would be more comfortable to you. The choice to feel every bit of this WITH your baby. It is such a priceless experience that is beyond worth it!

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How to Advocate for Yourself in a Hospital Birth

Written by Anna Bourdess

*this post contains affiliate links.

1. Be Informed.

I know that Tori and I have said this many times, but I truly believe this has played a significant role in each of our birth experiences. I feel this is one of the biggest parts of mothering these days. We can not just trust what is said to us. We must educate ourselves so that we can make informed decisions that we can be confident in.

Look into your hospital’s policies. Things such as how long they are comfortable with you laboring before interventions will be suggested, what interventions they might suggest, risks and benefits of each, what vaccines will be administered to your baby at birth, and so many more. Know what choices you’ll be presented with so you already know how to answer them.

Whatever decisions you make, know why you made them. It’s not about what your best friend did, what is popular, or going along with it because they are the “experts.” Do your research and be confident in your choices, whatever they may be. You can’t advocate for yourself if you don’t even know what you want. 

2. Have an Informed Birth Partner

As you’re doing your research, involve your birth partner. Make sure they know why you feel the way you do about your choices so that they can best support you. They’ll be able to advocate for you as much as possible in your stead while you focus on delivering your baby. 

Earthley

Researching can also be overwhelming, especially with all those pregnancy hormones. Having your birth partner do it with you can help keep you grounded and give you someone to talk through things with to help you figure out what is best for you and baby. 

3. Have a Plan

A written birth plan is not a necessity. However, it is extremely helpful when trying to go unmedicated. Having a birth plan helps everyone around you know how you want to be supported during your labor. Any decent nurse wants to give the best experience possible to their patients. A birth plan helps them accomplish that.

An added plus is if you have trouble speaking up for yourself, you can just hand them your birth plan, and they’ll know your wishes without you trying to explain them. It can state things like you wish to not be asked about pain medications, you want to change positions often, and desire to be interrupted as little as possible. Also, it can state your wishes for shots administered after birth, skin to skin, delayed cord clamping, and so on. 

While in labor, you really are not going to want to be asked a lot of questions and probably won’t have the mental capacity to make multiple decisions anyway. Even if you don’t give your birth plan to anyone, it is very beneficial in gathering your thoughts for yourself so you are settled in your desires and are prepared to make decisions. It’s pretty easy to find a template online for a birth plan if you don’t know where to start.

Your plan needs to be flexible. I don’t mean you need to give your mind the easy way out. I mean, birth is unpredictable, and things can change fast. Don’t be so set on your plan that you would risk yours or baby’s safety. I suggest having three birth plans. One for an unmedicated birth, one for a medicated birth (sometimes medical interventions are needed), and one for a Cesarean birth in case you need one in an emergency. Even in the case of interventions, you still have the right to decide many things about your birth. Know what your hospital will allow in each scenario. Also know the difference in their preferences and actual policys. Even then policys aren’t laws. 

4. Be Kind

It is very possible to advocate for yourself and still be kind. Even if you have to be stern, there is no excuse to be rude. I have found that most medical professionals really do want the best for you. Not all, but most. They’re just working off of the information they’ve been given. That is that the best in care includes epidurals, pain management, vaccinations, and so on. When someone comes in requesting different, most of them simply do not understand. Add in that natural living is trendy right now, and the many varieties of the public they get to function with daily, and it’s understandable to receive some hesitation.

Now, of course, it is not required of you to explain yourself. No means no, and that is good enough, especially during labor. But, if given the opportunity, why not educate so that others may look into things for themselves instead of just doing what is standard practice? Is that not how you began questioning things? 

After my son, Jackson, was born, we had chosen to refuse many standard practices after birth. I had several nurses very kindly ask if I was sure many times. Instead of getting upset, I took the time to explain that we had looked at all the research and data (named our sources), and that is why we feel this is what’s best for our baby. They listened kindly, and they never asked us the certainty of our choices again. They were willing to listen because I had never spoken harshly to them or been disrespectful. Communicate without rudeness. Most just want to hear that you’ve made a decision based on facts, not trends. Educate, inform, and be kind. 

Earthley

5. Trust Your Intuition 

I’m not talking about just following feelings or flesh. I passionately believe in a mother’s intuition. I believe it is God-given to help guide us in taking care of our babies. After all, how did women take care of their babies before we had all of these “experts” to tell us how to do it?

Nobody knows your baby like you do, Mama. It will amaze you when your baby arrives and as you grow together, how you will just know what they need. Sometimes you won’t even know why you know, you just do. Trust it. If you have someone trying to push you into something for your baby, but you just don’t have peace about it, trust that intuition. It is vital to your mothering. Never let anyone push or convince you into something you’re uncomfortable with. This applies in birth just as much as in the rest of your motherhood journey. 

Have you heard of Earthley Wellness? Earthley is a company dedicated to providing all-natural, herbal products and medications for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthley is that they have remedies for pregnant and nursing mothers. Things like colds, fevers, and coughs can be hard to navigate in pregnancy and early motherhood. These products absolutely work and have become a staple in our household for non-toxic, holistic wellness. Use my link below and the code CHOOSENATURAL for 10% off your first order!

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Living Today Like Your Husband Died Yesterday

*This post contains affiliate links.

But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan. 

1 Timothy 5:11-15

When I started reading these verses the other day I had a few questions on my heart and as I read The Lord answered these questions. For a very long time society has sold us lies. Television and now social media have shaped our thinking to become so warped in ways we don’t even realize. One of these things is how close in friendship and relationship we should be with people outside our home.

As women we watch Hallmark movies showcasing the starlett and her best friend, who are interconnected in every way. They share every detail of life and bear their souls one to another. We’ve been made to feel this is the goal and if we don’t have it we are missing out. But as women when we do have interconnected relationships how do we handle them? 

What I’ve found as a woman is that most female relationships have a tendency, if not kept in check, to run this way: 

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 

1 Timothy 5:13

If we as women are honest with ourselves we have to be guarded and careful, but our society takes everything in I Timothy 5:13 and praises it.  

Here are some definitions of these words according to the Strongs Concordance: 

Idle – inactive, i.e. unemployed; (by implication) lazy, useless 

Tattlers – (to bubble); a garrulous (talkative; pratting [One that talks much to little purpose, or on trifling subjects – Websters 1828]) person 

Busybodies – working all around, i.e. officious (Busy; intermeddling in affairs in which one has no concern – Webster’s 1828 [meddlesome]) 

How many times have we been pushed to be inactive in our homes? We all have cell phones in our hands, TVs on our walls, every appliance keeps us from working harder than necessary. We are encouraged to stop and stop often. Or we are pushed to be overactive outside of our home as if we do not have a job – unemployed. We are encouraged to give 200% just not in the God-given place we should be. 

Earthley

We are also encouraged to over share about subjects that have no substance or value. How often have you gotten a history lesson about someone’s life you never met or someone you are going to meet? Gossip is praised and looked at as just a normal female activity. But all of these things indicate one thing – your husband has died and is no longer available to keep you occupied in productive ways. You have no home to manage. 

This really hits home for me. I’ve felt a bit guilty for not reaching out more or not longing for female fellowship more but I also felt as if a lot of female fellowship brings out negative tendencies in my life and I don’t want to hinder others so I step back. Limited fellowship has been a blessing and benefit as I form deeper, godly relationships. In the limited fellowship I find myself more guarded with my tongue and more prayerful about my response. I find myself encouraging and being encouraged, but in the relationships that have ever had full, free access there is a tendency to not keep myself in check and to leave those interactions over thinking everything I said, knowing that I had crossed lines. In that time frame I have not been concerned with the needs of my home and family. I’ve lived like I’ve had no accountability or authority in my life. 

When we look at Titus 2 about the aged women’s instruction to the younger women we see first thing that she is told to watch her behavior. It wasn’t about what she could say with her mouth. It was about what she could live with her life. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the first thing she is told to be in her behavior is holy and then directly following, she’s not to be a false accuser. Her tongue and how she used it were to be directly addressed from the pulpit by Titus. When we come down to what she was to teach the younger women through this behavior of holiness it is to be a keeper at home.  This ties directly into I Timothy 5:13. She was to teach the younger women that they can be fully fulfilled in their own home. How is that done? By her being fully fulfilled in hers. She had to set the example to follow. 

This was not an example of laziness, talking too much about nonsense, or being the town or church gossip. She was to be directed by Titus as an aged woman not be a false accuser – a traducer; specially, Satan—false accuser, devil, slanderer (TRADU’CER, noun One that traduces; a slanderer; a calumniator. CALUMNIATOR, noun One who slanders; one who falsely and knowingly accuses another of a crime or offense, or maliciously propagates false accusations or reports. – Websters 1828) 

Only by not being a false accuser could she live up to the qualifications to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. 

I said all of that to simply say- it’s okay to be a wife who enjoys her family and doesn’t have a ton of friendships, or even one, that takes up her daily time and attention. It’s okay to be so busy at home that you have to say, “No thank you!” to personal invites without guilt. It’s okay to go home when conversations start turning to tattling, busybodiness, or false accusation. It’s okay to find your refuge, joy, and fulfillment in your home, husband, children, and most of all The Lord. 

Having friends is not wrong. I am blessed with more friends than most people and I believe that is because they are limited in time and access. Friendship can become wrong when we are investing in those friendships as if we do not have anything to invest in at home. The Proverbs 31 woman is an amazing example used for us women a lot. Do you know what we don’t find in that passage? Her friends. I’m sure she had some. But, she was a queen who was busy running a castle. She had a husband, children, maidens to direct, goods to sell. She was busy. She was invested in the needs of her household first. 

This world tries to tell us that men are stupid, children are inconvenient, homes are to be picture perfect but not really lived in. That the only ones who get us are our friends and other women. That we can learn more at the feet of women than at the feet of Jesus. The world is wrong. I don’t want to live like my husband is dead. I don’t want to have a lifestyle that is indicative of a widow without authority and boundaries. I don’t want to treat my marriage as if it’s so secondary I need others to fulfill the voids, or treat my children like they are a bother to my life.

Earthley

It’s time to rise up and find the place God made for us. It will go against the grain of this world and even most Christian women. It’s time to rise up to enjoy our homes and to invest more heavily in our marriage than in our friendships. It’s time to find our place at Jesus’ feet and not at the feet of those who we long to gossip with. Lord, please help me and forgive me for my ignorance all these years. 

But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;  And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12

To all my godly friends that give counsel, take counsel, point me back to my husband, point me to God’s Word, and truly love me for who I am without false accusation, thank you!!! Thank you for serving The Lord first, your family second, for knowing your limits, and when to simply say, “I’m sorry, but I’m busy at home right now. I’m with my family.” I learn how to love The Lord more my watching you!!

With much love, 

Kate Ledbetter

Have you heard of Earthly Wellness? 
Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.

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Hospital Bag Essentials: Everything You Need for an Amazing Hospital Birth

*This post contains affiliate links.

Packing a hospital bag can be fun and honestly, overwhelming! As your big sisters in all things birth, labor, and baby- Anna and I thought it would be fun to combine our lists of hospital birth must haves. We hope this helps you as you prepare for your little one to arrive earth-side!

Tips for Packing Your Hospital Bag

1. Pack Early

It is recommended to have your bag ready to go by around the 36 week mark, simply because you never know what will happen. As two ladies who did not make it to full term with our babies we highly recommend having that bag packed BY the 36 week mark, if not before. It may be helpful to have a small bag to keep in your car, just for emergency sake.

Pack the bag early. Let people make fun of you, just pack it sooner than you think you need to. Sincerely, someone who went into labor early.

-aka Anna

2. Do not stress.

That being said, if you are approaching the 36 week mark or past it, there is no need to stress! Even if you go into labor early the likelihood that you will still have time to pack your hospital bag is pretty high. Once labor begins, in the early stages it is somewhat nice to have something to occupy your time/mind with.

Even if you have a true emergency and have no time to prepare, this is what family and friends are for! If you find yourself at the hospital with nothing or forget something important, reach out to someone in your support group.

3. Pack ALL the pain management things.

If you are planning on a natural birth experience do not feel bad about bringing anything/everything you think may bring you comfort during labor. You may find that certain things you thought would work for you do not while other things do. If this is your first baby it is likely going to be trial and error. Also, certain points of labor require different measures for pain. This differs for everyone so come prepared.

4. Babies come in all shapes and sizes.

You know this but no baby is the same! And just because the tag says “newborn” does not mean it is going to fit yours. We both would advise you pack 2-3 newborn outfits, and at least one each premie/0-3 month outfit. Even if your baby is measuring small, large, or “normal” size you never truly know until you know.

5. Comfort is key!

The trick to an enjoyable hospital birth experience is making sure you, dad, and baby have everything you need to be as comfortable as possible. This may mean a lot of packing but it is so worth it! If you sleep best with a box fan, bring it! If having your special cozy socks matters, bring them!

6. Let Dad pack the bag.

I have to give all the credit to Anna on this one (or whoever she stole the idea from- THANK YOU!). Since your husband will most likely be the one handing you all the things at the hospital, lay out your things and let him pack the bag. This completely eliminates the need for you to instruct him on where certain things are during labor. Trust me- the last thing you will want to do to your poor husband is get upset when you have to tell him step by step where everything is.

A big tip that I used was let dad pack the hospital bag. You lay out the items you want packed and let him put them in the bag. He is going to be getting the items for you at the hospital and you want him to be able to find everything.

Anna

7. Install the carseat BEFORE hand.

This is one of my (Tori) many regrets! Our birth story was kind of a whirlwind and we both definitely were NOT prepared. So the carseat was a very last minute thing! We honestly just threw all the parts in the car and it was up to my wonderful husband to figure it all out the day we left the hospital. It was not that is was a huge inconvenience, just frustrating and totally avoidable. A very kind nurse helped us figure it out, so should you forget or have questions concerning the safety of your carseat, find a nice nurse!

Everything Mom Needs at the Hospital

Clothing Items

  1. 1-2 actual outfits. In most cases you will be released in 24-48 hours after giving birth to a healthy baby. The majority of your stay you will likely be in labor and will want to be in a gown or nothing at all. Should you need extra clothing someone in your support group will be happy to go get some clothing. (If you are a long ways from home, you may want to consider packing extra outfits, just in case.)
  2. 1-2 gowns. Anna and I highly recommend two gowns, one to labor in and one for after labor. A few things to keep in mind when selecting gowns are- comfort, nursing accessibility (if planning to breastfeed), and know that they will get messy (so nothing super expensive or fancy).

I delivered in a hospital gown but brought my own for postpartum. Looking back I wish I would’ve brought two cheap throw away gowns for labor too. Hospital gowns are annoying. I say two because I needed a change during labor due to some, we’ll just say “labor fluids”. Make sure you get one that has easy access for nursing, and for any medical intervention should it arise.

Anna
  1. Super comfortable nursing bras. This is a must! If this is your first baby you likely have no idea what an actual comfy nursing bra means. Let me help you- super soft, yet supportive. I would definably recommend anything by Mom Cozy brand! So far they are the best I have found. (The jelly strip support is my favorite- click here to check it out!)
  2. Cozy socks.

Earthley

Comfort Measures

  1. Your own pillow and/or blanket. This is super nice to have but the hospital will provide you with as many pillows and blankets as you need. If you decide to bring your own just know that they may get messy.
  2. Pain management. We will talk more about this in a coming post but you will want anything that will help keep you comfortable in labor. Anything to manage pain in a natural and even some medicated birth situations is great to have on hand. Some ideas: tennis balls for counter pressure, a labor comb, birthing ball, heating pad etc.
  3. Comfort items. Things to keep you comfortable throughout labor and beyond! Essential oils (and diffuser!) a candle, a speaker for music, a small fan, lights, etc.

Toiletries/Postpartum Care

  1. Deodorant, shampoo, body wash, toothbrush, makeup. All the things you would use on the daily. One of us may have forgotten a hairbrush and probably did not use one for the first week of motherhood (Tori).
  2. Postpartum care. The hospital will provide a lot of this for you but if there is any specific brand you want or special items you will want to bring that yourself. Some items we found helpful during the postpartum period were: adult diapers (STYLISH!), ice pads, nipple ointment, perineum itch spray, breast pads, ice/heat pads for breasts, silverettes, etc. (Click here for my favorite postpartum care set!)

Other

1. Food. Most hospitals follow the no eating in labor policy. You may want to bring a little something to eat during labor, and comfort foods after the fact. Protein drinks may help you keep your strength and energy up during labor.

Some hospitals say you can’t eat during labor (I say do what you want). You can bring protein shakes to help give you energy for birth and still abide by liquids only policy. Do your research on the risks and make your own decision on this one though.

Anna

2. Chapstick. For some reason that dry hospital air, combined with all the heavy breathing makes your lips absolutely parched! Bring some good quality chapstick.

3. Thank you cards. I wish I would have done this! You may not feel like writing a card and that is completely okay! However, if you do and certain members of staff made you feel like a QUEEN, you may wish you had some on hand to express your thanks.

Everything Your Support Person Needs at the Hospital

Your support person is a HUGE part of a great birth experience! You will want to make sure they have a list of what they will need during this time to make sure you and baby are safe and cozy.

  1. 1-2 outfits.
  2. IF you are planning a water birth they will need clothing that is specifically for this.
  3. Toiletry items.
  4. Snacks/drinks.
  5. A copy of the birth plan or wishes. It is very important for the person doing labor with you to know your wants and wishes concerning birth. You will likely not be able to fully communicate with staff very well. Unfortunately, this leads many women into birth experiences that they never wanted. Make sure your husband or whoever is supporting you knows how to advocate for you and your baby! (For this reason we highly recommend making sure your support person is included in any birth classes or education you choose to take.)

Everything Your Baby Needs at the Hospital

  1. Two newborn outfits/ one premie outfit, and one 0-3 month outfit.
  2. Socks.
  3. Swaddles.
  4. Diapers and wipes. The hospital will provide this but if you are wanting a specific brand you will want to bring your own.
  5. Bottle/formula. If you are not planning to breastfeed you will need to bring your own formula and bottle. The hospital will have some on hand if you need it. I suggest doing lots of research on formula. Do not just go with what is recommended!
  6. Swaddles. The hospital will provide plenty of swaddles, but let’s be honest- there are definitely cuter/cozier ones out there!
  7. Pacifier. The hospital will give you one on request but if you have a specific brand or type you are wanting to use make sure to bring that.
  8. Car seat. Make sure you bring the car seat if you want to take the baby home!

Have you heard of Earthly Wellness? 
Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.

Click here to shop!

Other Things to Consider

1. Two phone chargers or a battery pack. Having two separate chargers for you and your support person is a great idea!

2. Photo props/outfits. If you are wanting those cute hospital/fresh 48 pics then do not forget to grab the gear!

3. Your birth plan. This is the most important part of having a positive natural birth experience. Make sure you have a written guide of care for the hospital staff. If your nurses and doctors were as amazing as ours they will do their best to support the plan! You just need to make sure it is available to them. As stated before- make sure your support person is also clued in on the plan!

What the Hospital Will Provide for You

This list may be more specific to *your* hospital but it is definitely worth looking into what is provided by the hospital. You will likely still be paying for it as part of your bill but it is nice knowing what is available to ask for should you need it. Here is everything our hospitals provided during our stay…

  • Diapers and wipes for baby.
  • Paci (on request)
  • Formula
  • Food/vending stations
  • Water in a HUGE cup with a straw
  • Diapers/maxi pads for mom
  • Perineum itch spray
  • Ice pads
  • Heating pad
  • Tuck’s witch hazel pads
  • Popsicles
  • Ice (nice during labor)
  • Baby blankets/swaddles
  • Baby bed
  • Baby bath supplies
  • Gown (highly recommend bringing your own- it is more comfortable)
  • Pillows/blankets
  • Socks
  • Hand pump
  • Nipple ointment
  • Mesh underwear
  • Birthing ball/peanut ball

We hope this has been a helpful guide on your birth journey! Do not forget to add these items to your registry if appropriate.

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Hospital or Home Birth? Why I Chose a Hospital Birth

*This post contains affiliate links.

Disclaimer
This is a series of posts that we have dedicated to new moms who desire a natural birth experience! These posts are not written to sway you one way or another but to simply give our experiences, share information we found useful, and to encourage the safest, best birth for you and your baby!

-Tori and Anna

There are so many things that go into choosing the right birth experience for you and your baby. Here, we are going to go through some reasons why I chose to do a hospital birth over a home birth.

1. I had good options for a hospital birth.

In the area where I live, I am within thirty to forty- five minutes of several highly rated hospitals. I researched them all extensively and made the choice that fit my desires best. Some things I looked for were:

  • Low Cesarean birth rate
  • Offered a birthing tub
  • Had policies that encouraged natural deliveries
  • Offered midwife providers
  • “Rooming In” was standard policy (most hospitals do this, but it’s still better to check just so there are no surprises)
  • Access to wireless monitoring so I could move around
  • NICU (so no transfer in an emergency)

Obviously, you may not be able to have all of your desires met, so pick which things are most important to you. The success of your birth has a lot to do with where you choose, so take time when making this decision and do your research.

Read about Anna’s amazing hospital birth here!

2. Hospitals do not make me nervous.

Some women find a hospital setting very intimidating and unsettling. This will add stress and tension to your delivery, not something we want when trying to birth our little one. I spent a lot of time in hospitals throughout my teenage and young adult life due to chronic health issues. Because of this, I am used to them and honestly find them quite comfortable (weird, I know), so being in one for my delivery was a relief instead of a stress. If you find hospitals scary but aren’t sure about a home birth either, there are a few things I would suggest.

Look into a birth center.

This is the middle ground between home and hospital. Just know you most likely won’t have access to an epidural at a birth center, so no changing your mind.

Bring items that would make your hospital experience more cozy.

You can bring fairy lights, your favorite blanket, battery-operated candles, a diffuser for essential oils, and any other item that could help you feel more at ease during your delivery. Remember, tension is not your friend when trying to give birth. You need your body relaxed.

3. I was hesitant about a home birth.

As I previously stated, you need to be relaxed during labor. If it brings you more stress, then it’s probably not the right decision for you. I am a huge supporter of home births. However, every time I considered one for myself, I just felt very uneasy about it. There is no specific reason why, I just couldn’t get peace about it for me.

4. Birth is messy.

This one is more for fun but was definitely a thought I had while making my decision. I know being a “scrunchy” mama I shouldn’t say this so don’t come for me but, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be scrubbing “the miracle of birth” out of the carpet. And to be totally honest, I thoroughly enjoyed pushing a call button and ordering lunch, having help, and being cleaned up after on those first few days postpartum. Yes, I know midwives, birthing doulas, and postpartum doulas can do all of those things. I’m just sharing what worked well for us.

Have you heard of Earthly Wellness? 
Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.

Click HERE!

5. I prayed about it.

I didn’t just make a decision based on my own desires. I took all the information I had gathered and bathed it in prayer before The Lord. I asked Him what was best for us, and He answered. In the end, this is the real reason I chose a hospital birth.

Let me remind you that The Lord knows exactly what He is doing. I ended up with sudden preeclampsia and P.R.O.M. It wasn’t known if my baby would need time in the NICU or not. God led us to the right birth at the right hospital, with a NICU team readily available and THE BEST nurses on staff. So before you make your decision, pray about it. There’s a lot of information out there. He can be the calm in the storm of voices and opinions.

I truly feel like the hospital we chose made all the difference in my birth experience. They honored my request to be left alone as much as possible. They were respectful of all my wishes, kind, and truly honored that parents know best. Because of this, I had an amazing hospital birth! Make sure and do your research. Be informed on your choices. A successful natural hospital birth is still possible even if you don’t have access to facilities that encourage it. The choice is yours to make- not theirs.

Written by Anna Bourdess

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What to Do When You Find Out You Are Pregnant

*this post contains affiliate links.

Finding out you are pregnant with your first baby is such an exciting time! It can also be a scary time. So many unknowns, what-ifs, and let’s not even get into allllll the decisions!

That is why me and my long time friend, fellow mom, and co-writer Anna Bourdess have decided to do a series of posts on “What to Do…” throughout your first pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. These posts are formulated to be a simple, informative, and practical guide to your journey into motherhood.

When we first found out we were expecting, one thing that we for sure did not expect was how much information there is on pregnancy and all things baby. To say it is overwhelming seems like an understatement! Everyone has an opinion about this topic. We do not wish to be another voice out there saying what you need to or should do. Our purpose in these posts is to give first time mamas a quiet, peaceful place filled with encouragement, resources, and USEFUL information.

If you have any questions we would love to help you navigate this exciting, scary, and wonderful season of life with you! We are not experts but we have been there.

Here’s to momming in the 2020s!

The Most Life-Changing Word: Positive

You just found out you are pregnant! By now you have probably taken that first test, and another test, and maybe (if you are a reluctant believer), another test. Who knew that one little word could hold so much emotion- POSITIVE. Whether this is a complete surprise or you have been trying for many months/years can we just take this moment to tell you congratulations!

Motherhood is such a precious joy. You are about to enter a new season of life that will change you forever! You will never be the same person you were before becoming a mama, and all for the better.

After the high/exciting emotions begin to settle you may be left feeling like, “What do I do next?”. This is totally normal. Many of us spend lots of time and energy focusing on getting pregnant but not necessarily researching what to do when it happens. Now that you have that positive result you may be a bit overwhelmed by all the swirling opinions of online articles, family, and friends.

The first thing to do- breathe. You have forty weeks (with some exceptions) to enjoy this sweet little person growing inside you. Your body was made to carry this baby and you can raise him/her well. You’ve got this, mama!

Setting Up Your First Appointment

After that pause, the next thing you need to be working on is scheduling your first appointment- also called a confirmation appointment. Here’s everything you can expect at that first appointment…

  • This appointment will likely be scheduled around eight weeks after your last period date. This can be frustrating because for eight whole weeks you may be wondering, “I am actually pregnant?”. If you have taken a reliable test, a second test a few days later, and begin to have symptoms of pregnancy (nausea, headaches, exhaustion, etc.) you can rest assured that you are likely pregnant!
  • First they will likely want to test your urine for HcG and protein. This will confirm that you are pregnant and that all of your levels are normal.
  • They will run routine check on your overall health such as blood pressure and weight at every check up.
  • Most offices will then do a vaginal ultrasound to make sure everything is looking healthy. If your baby is old enough at this check up you may be able to hear his/her heart beat. The baby will probably look like just a blob right now but it will be the sweetest blog you have ever seen!
  • You will likely meet one of the doctors in the practice to go through any discomfort or concerns you may have. This will be the time to let them know if you have any questions/concerns about the first trimester. You can even interview them at this time to see if the doctor/care group is a right fit for you but do not worry if you are not ready to do this quite yet- you will have plenty of time!

Finding Your Provider

Finding a provider that respects your values, has time for your questions, and makes you feel safe is so important! Here are a few things to consider when you begin your search…

Do you want a midwife or an OBGYN? This is a good place to start. Both come in many types and forms! Some midwives work under the umbrella of a hospital birth setting, while some only perform deliveries in home. Some have certain degrees/certifications and some do not. We will not go into all the details here so be sure to do your own research. However, the one main difference I have seen between an OB and midwives is the level of care and connection. If you are a more direct, to the point type person just here to get the job done you may appreciate the OB more than us slightly skeptical, questioning ladies who need that connection with our care provider.

Free Printable! Long press the image (iPhone) to save to your device/print.

If you are looking to have a natural birth another great resource is looking at the c-section rates of the providers you are interested in. (You can find this information here!) If the rates are high you might want to take this into consideration.

Once you choose or if you already have and OB-GYN look up their c-section rates and the hospital where they will deliver. This is crucial to your birthing experience.

-Anna

Are they in network/budget? After narrowing it down to a few providers you are interested in check to see if they are within network if you have insurance. If you do not have insurance or you are using a midwife for a home birth you need to get a full breakdown of the cost per visit. This may sound overwhelming but it is a great way to eliminate your options.

Do they align with your values? They may not agree with you about how they like their coffee but you need to KNOW that your care provider has your best interest in mind. If you want a natural, unmedicated birth but your provider wants to induce every woman that comes into her office chances of your natural, unmedicated birth begin to fly out of the window. Regardless of if your provider says they will respect your wishes, you need to know that they will no matter what! Ask their opinion on unmedicated labor/delivery. Let them know up front what your expectations are. You are hiring them to work for you, not for you to mindlessly go along with what they say and pay the bill!

Remember you can always change your provider later on if you feel uncomfortable at any time or visit. If you are going through a network or care group you may be able to request certain OBs or NPs for appointments but you will likely be left to whoever is on call for your delivery.

Your providers are there to serve you. You can fire them if you do not like the care they are providing and get someone who is a better fit.

-Anna

Focus on Your Nutrition

Everything you do from now on not only effects you but it will effect your baby. The weight of that responsibility can seem so overwhelming at times but it starts here- everyday making the right choices for you and your little one! And it truly is simple (don’t overcomplicate it girl!).

Prenatals

Start your pregnancy off with good nutrition in the form of a QUALITY prenatal vitamin (a few of my favorites are linked below to help start your search). By quality I mean if it is in the form of a gummy and has 34 grams of added sugar….probably junk it!

You can start taking a prenatal right away. Personally I (Tori) stay on prenatals and likely will until I am done having babies. They are great to continue throughout postpartum. I highly recommend finding a good quality vitamin. I used the gummy junk ones my first pregnancy and noticed a big difference in my overall health with my second baby when I took a good vitamin.

Healthy Eating Habits

That prenatal is great but if you are not eating well your body will feel sluggish and you will likely be missing something you and the baby need. Here are a few tips to remember when it comes to food throughout your pregnancy…

  • Protein. As Americans we are all very protein deficient. We eat well below the recommended serving for a day. While pregnant (unless told otherwise by your healthcare provider) try to shoot for around 80 grams of protein daily. If you are dealing with morning sickness and nausea protein is a game changer. You also may find that when you are nauseous the last thing you want is protein. Try to get as much as you can in any form your stomach can handle. (Good sources of protein: meat, eggs, cheese, yogurt, nuts, protein shakes, etc.)
  • Fruits and Vegetables. This seems obvious but you will definitely need to stay up on the fruits and veggies. Dark green and leafy vegetables are an especially good source of iron and other nutrients you need while pregnant. Avocados are another very nutrient dense food to add to the list of pregnancy must haves. Berries are great and when added to a smoothie you may be able to stomach them better than eating them during the first trimester.
  • Eat what you can eat. If you find that EVERYTHING is making you nauseous, just eat what you can eat. Even if it is not healthy. You are far better off to eat a slice of pizza that does not make you rush to the bathroom than to throw up every meal or simply not eat anything at all. More than likely your nausea will subside going into the second trimester and you will have more time to focus on getting nutritional foods. If you are having trouble to the point that nothing is staying down let your provider know and they may offer medication to help ease your symptoms. Eating little and often (small snacks every couple hours) can really help get food in you without overloading your fragile system. Hang in there!

I wish I would have made more of an effort to make the best choices to fuel my body. Make sure you are giving your body the best you can, growing a baby is hard work!

-Anna

Weight Gain

Some women are concerned about their weight-gain during pregnancy to the point of obsession. Can we just take a moment and say- you are growing a WHOLE HUMAN inside you and you are going to gain weight! It is normal and it is okay. If you are eating decently healthy and staying active you do not need to be overwhelmed by the numbers on the scale.

Getting Through to that First Appointment

The first trimester for some is full of the hardest weeks of pregnancy. Here are a few things you can expect to experience during the weeks leading up to your first appointment and into the second trimester…

  • nausea/vomiting (known as morning sickness but can happen any time of day)
  • headaches
  • extreme fatigue
  • mood swings
  • cramping (light cramping like a period is normal; intense and very painful cramping is not normal and you should talk to your doctor about this BEFORE your eight week appointment)

With all this and maybe even more going on (hormones are CRAZY!!) you may be wanting to reach into the medicine cabinet for some relief….but you need to be careful. Many medications are not safe to take while pregnant and can harm your baby. Your doctor will likely give you a complete list of medications that are safe to take while pregnant but until then it can be scary trying to navigate what is safe. Below is a list of medications/herbs that are safe for most women to take while pregnant (if you have any medical problems please do your own research or speak to a doctor). They are also things that Anna and I took during our pregnancies…

  • Tylenol (this is the only pain reliever/fever reducer deemed safe at this time. It is highly recommended to avoid ibuprofen.)
  • Peppermint tea/oil for nausea and vomiting
  • Earthley Feel Better Fast for colds, upset stomach, and fevers
  • Earthley Cough B Gone for coughs and sore throat
  • Ginger tea/gummies for nausea and vomiting

Have you heard of Earthly Wellness? 
Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.

Click here to check them out!

You will want to stop all other medications that are not safe for pregnancy. Speak to your family doctor about what you need to take/not take during the first weeks before your confirmation appointment.

Read this post on How to Make it Through the First Trimester.

Take the Nap

One major part of pregnancy is the fatigue. Anna and I are both homemakers and had the luxury of napping throughout the day as needed. From the homemaker standpoint there can be a lot guilt associated with being “lazy” all day. Your husband is out working and here you are falling asleep in a pile of laundry!

After two pregnancies myself my biggest piece of advice for the first trimester is just take the nap. Do what you can but when you are exhausted allow yourself that rest. You will likely never get to sleep like you can before you have that first baby!

You are not being lazy- your body is making a person! In the second trimester you will likely get your energy back, and then some.

If you can, take the nap! This is your first baby, you will NEVER be able to sleep like this again. Just take the nap!

Conclusion

As crazy as the first trimester can be try to relax and enjoy it. When you are having a hard day let your mind wander to the fun baby things like nursery decor, baby names, etc. It can feel like forever but the first trimester will not last long. Most women begin to feel more like themselves around the twelve or thirteen week mark. If you do not that is okay too! Your body is doing amazing things- have some grace with yourself.

If we can help you in any way please reach out on our contact page or drop a comment below!

Co-written by Tori Ruckman & Anna Bourdess

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Three Positive Birth Stories: A Collection of Natural Birth Stories

All birth is beautiful! Hospital, home birth, unmedicated, medicated, c-section. However your baby made is earth-side- you did an amazing job!

One of my favorite things about birth is that each story is so unique and every experience is different. I think the one piece of advice to gather from these stories is that no matter what you are planning for- medicated or unmedicated, you need to be prepared for anything.

We hope these stories help you prepare for whatever wonderful birth you have!

#1: Jenna Rae: An Unmedicated Positive Hospital Birth Story

Our sweet baby girl was born on September 21, 2022. At the time of writing this she is six weeks exactly. Time is flying by but boy are we having fun! 

I always dreamed of being a mama. Even as a little girl. In my teen years I never really had any dreams or ambitions of a career. The desire of my heart was to be a wife and mother. As amazing as I thought this life would be it does not begin to compare to the reality of a life lived for Jesus and allowing Him to fulfill the desires of your heart! To sum it all up, I feel extremely blessed!

But you are here for a birth story! so back to that. 

Jenna’s birth story could be a bit lengthy so I will try to keep as many unnecessary details out as possible. 

To fully understand we have to go back a bit further than the beginning of labor to our thirty two week ultrasound where we were told that Jenna was measuring a bit on the small side. Our doctor was not very concerned considering my husband and I were both relatively small babies (in the seven pound range). As well as the fact that I am a small built person. 

They had us come back every week for an ultrasound just to make sure things were going well and she was continuing to grow at a steady rate. 

Have you heard of Earthly Wellness? 
Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.

CLICK HERE!

Our Thirty-Eight Week Appointment

Things continued to go well until our thirty-eight week ultrasound. Jenna continued measuring small but maintained a steady growth rate until the week before at thirty-seven weeks. She was not dangerously low, just not gaining as much as the doctor would like. Everything else about her looked great. 

When performing a growth scan, the ultrasound technician measures a baby’s head circumference, abdomen, and length of femur. At Jenna’s thirty-eight week appointment they noticed her head and femur were growing consistently but her abdominal measurements were bringing her percentile down. She had dropped from the seventh percentile to less than one percent in just a week. 

The reason for this was that my placenta was no longer giving her what she needed to grow (this was likely due to an abnormal placement of the umbilical cord). Instead of her nutrients coming from my body she was having to use her own fat storage to provide for her development. Because of this it was decided that she would be better off out than in and I should be induced as soon as possible (the following morning). 

Most people would probably not find this a big deal since voluntary inductions happen all the time at thirty eight weeks. However, I did not want to be induced at all! This was a LOT to process at once. I actually low-key had a mental break down in the doctor’s office!

I think it was mainly due to my lack of preparing for the unexpected. Everything in my pregnancy had gone according to text-book and had been extremely easy up to this point (minus major sleep issues my entire pregnancy!). We knew she was small but everyone kept assuring us that she was likely fine. My plan was to labor at home as long as I could, go to the hospital, and have my child naturally if I could handle the pain. This was a lot of information to take in. I did not realize until this point how secure I was in my own plans. 

The doctor was extremely kind and patient. She explained all the reasons for the induction being necessary. She respected my decision to have my child naturally and offered to try breaking my water to let my body go into labor on its own without having to use Pitocin. 

By the time we left I had peace in abundance, even though I was still not thrilled with this interruption of my plans! 

The Surprises Kept Coming. 

This was not the last time Jenna would surprise us that day. 

After leaving the doctor’s office, my husband and I called our parents to inform them of what was happening. Both sets said they would just pray I went into labor that evening on my own. 

We headed out to Cheddar’s where my husband got us a quiet table in the back and we splurged on one last pre-baby meal. After our mini date we headed home to get prepared to be at the hospital at 6am. We packed hospital bags, set up the carseat, and I stress cleaned a few things then headed to bed. 

Once in bed I started having a few contractions. I was used to having Braxton Hick’s contractions throughout pregnancy so I was not too concerned. Except they started coming more strongly and more regularly than before. I figured maybe it was just from the stress of the day and tried to relax. 

By around two in the morning things had not changed at all, in fact I was more uncomfortable than when I laid down. Then I heard a strange sound. A few women had told me how they actually heard their water break. I was in denial! I only heard something, I did not feel any fluid. I decided I would get up and use the bathroom. I took a few steps and then came the fluid. It still was not more than a few drops but I was no longer in denial. This was it! Prayer worked! 

I woke Jimmy up and began to try timing the contractions that were now much stronger. They were not extremely painful, just uncomfortable and very irregular. I could not even time them because they were so inconsistent. I remembered my mom saying that she could never go by contractions to indicate where she was at for any of her labors. 

The doctor had checked my cervix earlier that day at my appointment and I was already dilated to a three. Because of this we decided it would probably be a good idea to go to the hospital instead of waiting it out at home and risk having Jenna in the car. A lot can happen in a twenty minute drive and this kid had been full of surprises already! Again, my plans were interrupted. 

Earthley

Active Labor

We made it to the hospital just fine around 3:30am. We got checked in and the nurse asked us her million questions then left us for a bit to “rest”. (I love how they leave your room in a hospital and tell you to try to get some rest then people keep coming in the room every ten minutes!)

Jimmy was able to sleep some and I just “rested” for a while. 

At this point I was dilated at a four and eighty percent effaced. My pain level was around a two for the majority of my labor until transition. Contractions were quite uncomfortable but very manageable. 

To be honest, I really enjoy contractions. Each one is a challenge to stay relaxed and in control. When you picture what is going on and how your body is working to bring that little life into the world can be pretty amazing!

The day drug on uneventfully the whole morning and afternoon. My contractions were getting stronger and more intense but the pain was still very manageable. I was GBS positive so by the afternoon they had already been able to administer several bags antibiotics via IV to decrease risk of infection and possible harm to baby. The baby’s heart rate remained great the entire labor and we were sailing along beautifully. 

Transition

By around four o’clock in the afternoon I began to switch from active labor to transition. My pain at this point was around a six or seven during contractions and I was finding it much harder to relax through the pain. Breathing became different as well. I had to really change up my whole strategy to remain in control. 

Before transition I found that counter pressure was very helpful. My husband would gently press in on my lower back during a contraction. Even at the beginning of transition this was working until I was in full transition. At this point it was no longer relieving. 

By around five o’clock I was exhausted. My face, neck, and arms were numb from lack of oxygen due to not breathing correctly. The nurse said I was low-key hyperventilating and needed to try to breathe longer and deeper through my contractions. I was dilated at a seven and at this point I was very much done! 

I remember feeling like I was not going to be able to do this. I knew if I was going to make it the rest of the way without medication or just giving up from exhaustion I needed to do something to regain control. I asked my doctor if I could take a shower. I honestly do not know why I thought of this but I am so glad I did! She was hesitantly fine with it. I am pretty sure I was freaking the nurses out. One of them decided to stay in the room and leave the bathroom door cracked in case I started to go into labor. 

I made it through the shower just fine and it helped immensely! It was just what I needed to boost my energy and help me refocus during that last leg of the journey. 

By around seven the shifts had changed and I got the best nurse! They were all really great but this particular one was a mom of seven who had all of her children naturally/unmedicated. She gave some great tips! 

From seven o’clock to nearly eight I remained dilated at a nine. I was so close to a ten but I had just a small piece of cervix that was not fully expanded. Talk about discouraging being that close but not able to just be done!

The pain and pressure were building intensely. My nurse said that when things were ready I should feel a pressure like I had not felt before, almost like the need to poop. While I was waiting on this magical pressure, she prepared the room and my mind for delivery.

This was a big help to keep me focused. It made me feel like I knew what I was doing, even though I had no clue! As she was explaining that I would push for ten seconds three times, then take a break I was wondering if I would have enough air and energy to push ten whole seconds. (You seriously think of the strangest things during labor!) Because I was so concerned that I would not be able to do it I decided I should practice. I waited for a contraction and lightly pushed/held my breath for ten seconds. I could do it!! 

After my practice push I felt that unbelievable pressure the nurse described. We called her back into the room and after a final cervical check she said I was complete and it was time to push. I was so energized and relieved!

When the doctor came in I clearly remember her saying, “This could take anywhere from thirty minutes to three hours.”. I just remember looking at the clock (8:02pm) and thinking to myself “There is no way I’m pushing three hours! This baby is out of here by nine o’clock!”. 

I pushed for twenty minutes and after eighteen hours of labor our precious girl was born at 8:28pm. 

There is nothing like the feeling of a long awaited treasure placed on your chest! Instant love beyond description. 

Jenna weighed five pounds eight ounces and was seventeen inches long. She is a healthy baby girl, still tiny but so quickly making up for it! 

I can not wait to see where life takes us! Already so many memories have been made and so many lessons have been learned through the blessing of you. Welcome to the world sweet Jenna Rae.

#2 Jackson Keith: An All-Natural Positive Hospital Birth Story

To understand our birth story a little better let me tell you about the weeks leading up to Jackson’s arrival. My pregnancy had been almost seamless up until 35 weeks. I had some pretty severe morning sickness the whole time, but, beyond that things had gone very well. 

At 35 weeks my blood pressure suddenly spiked. After visiting with my midwife and some testing, I was informed that I had, with no warning, developed preeclampsia. We weighed through together the benefits and risks of each decision and we decided that it would be best to try and get me to 37 weeks and then we would induce. I was put on bedrest and monitored my blood pressure closely at home. We ended up in the hospital twice before delivering Jackson, due to blood pressure spikes. 

PROM (premature rupture of membranes) 

Scheduled for induction the following Thursday, I woke up around four o’clock in the morning on that Sunday, to discover my water had broken. Only, I didn’t realize that’s what had happened. For me, it wasn’t like a movie scene where a huge gush of fluid splashes to the floor. It was more like a leaky faucet, and as any mama will tell you that feeling is pretty common those last months of pregnancy. Not realizing what was happening, I later went back to sleep and awoke to the same feeling around seven. By now I was suspicious. 

My husband, Philip, had gone to do bus route and church that morning but, I had informed him of what I thought was going on and asked him to keep his phone close. At this point that “faucet” I mentioned earlier had sprung a few more leaks and I was feeling a lot of pressure, making it difficult to sit comfortably. Contractions started around nine and slowly increased in frequency and intensity but still very manageable. I called Philip at ten and suggested he come home. By the time he got there, things were picking up. Let me just pause here and say how thankful I am for my husband. He did amazing and I could not have had the birth experience I did without his support. 

We eventually make it to the hospital and they run all of their tests to confirm that I am actually in labor. My triage nurse was phenomenal. She explained everything she was going to do and asked permission for it all. I consented to a cervical exam and we found out I was at three centimeters dilation and eighty percent effaced. You don’t have to have cervical exams if you don’t want to, it’s completely your choice. Just remember, they typically don’t mean much as far as your progress goes. Things can change quickly with your progress or you could stall out. Every person’s body is different and each time can be different so don’t get consumed with your numbers. 

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I desired greatly to have a natural, unmedicated delivery and tried my best in prayer and preparation to have the greatest chance of that happening. Once we were in a room, a nurse began bringing in a bag of Pitocin, to which I had not consented at the time. I politely declined and we tried some natural methods to progress my labor. At this time I was having consistent contractions, but they weren’t getting closer together or intensifying anymore. A few hours later, Philip and I discussed the risks versus benefits of beginning the Pitocin and decided it would be best to start the Pitocin to try and progress my labor. I could have delayed it longer, the risk was not high, it’s just what we felt was best for myself and baby at that time.

I had originally planned to be very mobile during labor and also use a birthing tub once at a certain point. Due to the preeclampsia, it was asked that I be monitored constantly which wasn’t a part of my plan, however, at the time I found it easier for me to be calm through my labor while listening to Jackson’s heartbeat, so I agreed. My nurses knew I desired to be up and moving and so kindly brought in a portable monitor since I wasn’t a candidate for wireless monitoring due to Jackson coming early. This allowed me as much mobility as possible, which greatly helped me manage my contractions. 

Beginning the Pitocin 

My nurse and I decided upping the Pitocin at half the usual rate would work best for my body. Since I was already showing signs of progression, we just wanted to give my body a little boost. Within thirty minutes of starting the Pitocin, things were progressing forward again. Since I couldn’t use the tub due to monitoring, I had to use other things in my arsenal of pain management. I brought several options since I didn’t know what I’d prefer. I ended up using a labor comb, and birthing ball the most. I had also practiced breathing techniques which were such a big part of my pain management. Philip was amazing in helping me achieve the unmedicated birth I desired. He was constantly giving counter pressure (which felt amazing), telling me how proud he was of me, and reminding me to relax my body and breath down. 

Transition 

After being on the Pitocin for a few hours, I requested a cervical exam again. To my dismay, I had only progressed to 4 cm. This is why I stated previously to not get focused on the numbers. Things can change fast, and they did for me. We pushed the Pitocin up slightly, one more time, and within 30 minutes my contractions were much more intense than they had been before. I was no longer able to speak at all through them and had entered “labor land” as many mamas have called it. Focusing on nothing but breathing and low moaning through each one. 

I had been doing well with the mental game of labor but I hit a point of exhaustion and lost some of the control I had worked so hard to keep. My low moans turned into growls and became much louder than before. More like a grizzly bear if I’m being honest. At this point my nurse had come in when the next contraction hit. She saw me bare down and urged me to resist that feeling to push because if my cervix wasn’t dilated enough it would swell and birth would be much more difficult. I told her my body was doing that and I had no control. Stunned she said “Oh! would it be ok for me to check you again?” I agreed and she did a cervical exam. She leaped off the table and told me how proud she was of me and that I was doing it! I had gone from 4cm to 10cm in thirty minutes and we were about to have a baby!

Delivery

 Contractions were hitting back to back and at this point Philip was growing uneasy seeing me in so much pain, not knowing how to help ease it anymore. He said he was praying in his heart “Lord, I really wish Anna’s mom was here, she would know what to do”. He looked up and guess who was standing at the door? He said he mouthed “help me” across the room to her. I hate I missed that because it’s still hilarious to me that my husband needed my mommy for my birth. 

We had originally planned for it to be just Philip and I, but I’m thankful my mom got to be in there. It was special. During all this, contractions are still hitting back to back and the nurse is calmly but repeatedly calling for the doctor knowing we don’t have long before this baby is here. The doctor made it in the room and barely got his gloves on when Jackson made his appearance. By now, he had triggered the fetal ejection reflex and in two pushes he was here. In Philip’s description it wasn’t a delivery, I launched him.

I heard that perfect little cry and they laid him on my chest while Philip laid above my head and sobbed. That will forever be one of my most precious memories. We did delayed cord clamping and his Daddy cut the cord when it was time. With him being early we weren’t sure what he would need so a NICU team was on stand by in the room. Originally, my plan was an hour of undisturbed skin to skin, however, with him being a preemie we knew he needed to be checked out quickly, especially his breathing. Once the cord was cut, I handed him to the nurses to be checked out and Philip followed to ensure all our wishes were honored. No eye goop, no shots, just checked, measured, weighed, and right back to mama if all was well. Praise The Lord it was, my little early boy was perfect in every way, to all the staff’s amazement and spent the next several hours getting all the snuggles. In fact, he’s still getting all the snuggles. 

Although everything about my birth wasn’t exactly how I had planned, I am still so happy with our birth story. Of course all that matters is a healthy baby, but having a no or low intervention birth was extremely important to me. I’m so thankful that The Lord heard that prayer and granted the natural delivery I desired. 

#3 Joanna Faith: An Unmedicated Positive Home Birth Story

I’ve been out enjoying all the baby snuggles the past five weeks and can I just say, I LOVE the newborn stage! I’m trying to soak up every minute I can. It goes by way too fast! 

If you’ve been here a while you know that I like to document my birth stories here. For two reasons, one being for myself— I always want to remember the details! The other reason is to encourage new mamas to at very least *attempt* a natural, unmediated birth. It’s also just fun to read or hear birth stories! 

Whatever brought you to this post, I’m glad you’re here! Thanks for reading. I post a new blog every week about homemaking, real food recipes, and mom life. You can subscribe to the blog for post updates. We’re also on Instagram as @littlewifeinthewoods. 

Now let’s get into that birth story! 

Why we chose homebirth

I have always wanted to have a homebirth, as much as I have always wanted to be a mom! As a little girl it fascinated me. (I was basically an eight year old granny— I liked growing herbs, baking, and babies…not much has changed!) 

In my late teens, due to some chronic health issues caused by a vaccine, then the pandemic in 2020, I have zero faith in the medical system. Don’t get me wrong, I think doctors are great, nurses are fantastic, and hospitals are sometimes necessary! However, I just do not see the need personally if your pregnancy is healthy and things are going well. Especially if you want an environment conducive to a natural laboring/birthing experience. 

(TIMEOUT: I am in no way becoming a homebirth advocate! I truly believe the way you have your babies is between you, your husband, and God. And there is NO wrong way to have a baby— medicated, unmedicated. Hospital or home. A healthy baby is all that matters.) 

My firstborn was birthed in the hospital and it was a great experience. I just do not enjoy the system. I truly feel unsafe in the hospital/medical environment. I do not know if I can even explain that to someone who doesn’t know what that feels like. The best way I know how is that I just do not trust any of the system or process. 

Another huge reason was that financially it just made more sense for our family. I wanted a homebirth with our first but my husband was just very uncomfortable with the idea…until we got that hospital bill back after we had her!! 

I had a completely natural labor and delivery in the hospital. Other than being constantly monitored (which I hated!!) I did 90% of all the work involved in getting this child here. So why they were charging more than six months of mortgage payments I’ll never understand! But they did! 

Homebirth monitoring

Some would say it’s a completely careless decision. And you’re allowed to feel that way. I have complete confidence in my decision— now more than ever, so these opinions really don’t bother me. 

However, I do want to clarify that trained and experienced midwives highly monitor your health and the health of your baby throughout pregnancy. Each visit all vitals are checked, baby’s heart rate, positioning of the baby, and swelling is addressed. Routine checks for protein in the urine, blood pressure, and any abnormalities or discomforts are addressed. I do not have time to explain how much more helpful my midwives were throughout my pregnancy than doctor’s previously! They just had so many more tricks up their sleeve to help make pregnancy as comfortable and natural as possible! 

Laboring at Home

I still love those words. At Home. 

There is nothing more comforting, peaceful, and natural than laboring at home. I did not get this opportunity with my first. My water broke and I was basically told to come running to the hospital where I labored for about 18 hours. 

The home laboring experience was so special. It began around 4:30am Monday morning after another exhausting night of no sleep. If you have had a baby you know about the skepticism surrounding labor…is it really labor? Could be false labor? might be real? You never know until you know! 

My contractions did not stop when I changed positions so I figured it was a good sign but decided to get in the bath to make sure they didn’t go away before I woke my husband up. They didn’t! I sat in there a while, then decided to eat something since it would probably be a long day. 

I woke Jimmy up around 6 to let him know he wouldn’t be going to work. Then we got busy making sure everything was ready. 

I had prepared as much as I could in the weeks leading up to birth. My first came at 38 weeks so I definitely wanted everything ready and organized just in case. The only things we had to do was make our bed and take a few things out of our bedroom to fit the birth tub. 

We also let our midwife know when contractions were consistently seven minutes apart for about an hour. She would be aware and close but let us labor undisturbed until they were three minutes apart, lasting one minute or more, consistently for an hour. 

With all the things done we just waited! 

I was able to get a little rest in the hours of early labor. As things started to ramp up I began to change positions trying to stay comfortable while also making progress. This was so fun! In the hospital my movement was very limited so I did not get to experiment with different positions. 

I went from bed, to pacing, to birth ball, to leaning over the bed and each place/position provided relief in different ways! 

While I was laboring Jimmy was working! It was Monday and if you’ve been here a while you know my house is so bad on Mondays I do this thing called a Monday reset! This Monday was no exception. He jumped right in there cleaning, taking care of the toddler, and making frequent visits to check on me. He was amazing!! 

Transition 

Around 1:30 pm things started to really ramp up. I knew from last time that my body had hit transition. I could not get comfortable anywhere but bed and even the slightest movement would bring a contraction, even if I’d just finished one! 

I decided it was time to start timing contractions. They were about three to three and a half minutes apart and lasted right at two minutes each. My midwife decided it was time to hit the road! 

She got to us around 2:45pm. She checked on me and baby and everything was great! She did such a great job at keeping everything calm and quiet. 

The next little while things just kept progressing and getting more intense. I tried to focus on relaxing through each contraction and letting my body do the work. While there definitely was pain, I was still able to keep control of my breathing and mostly relax (although I still couldn’t fully conquer it…guess I’ll have to try again next time!).

As the pressure intensified I had a massive contraction and my water finally broke! This felt so relieving and intense all at the same time. 

By now Mrs. Midwife and my husband were very busy getting the birth tub inflated and filled. I had not definitely planned on birthing in water but wanted to try it, mostly out of curiosity. I had heard it really relieved a lot of pain and I was not disappointed! 

The only issue was that by the time they set the tub up and started to fill it my body had already said, “Time to push!”. The birth tub has to be filled to a certain point and we were not quite there. My midwife asked if she should keep filling the tub or just leave it. I opted to keep trying for the tub because why not!

Delivery

The tub finally made it to minimum water capacity for a safe delivery so after the next contraction we very carefully transitioned me to the water. It was somewhere close to about 4:00pm this point. I could feel that she was SO CLOSE! 

After a few minutes in the tub a contraction hit and I felt that urge to push. My midwife had encouraged me to just listen to my body. If I needed to push, push. If I just felt like I needed a break then do so and just let my body do the work. This was a much different experience from my delivery in the hospital but very much appreciated! 

Here’s where it gets interesting…

So maybe around my third or fourth push we START to have a baby! Feet first. 

Yep! I looked down and there were two little feet. If you don’t know, babies are supposed to come head first. 

Now before you get all distressed about this, let’s remember. My midwife highly monitored baby’s position at the end of pregnancy. At 39 weeks we were very low, head down, and in optimal position to have a baby! It is very unlikely for a baby to completely change position that far in. 

Unless you’re Joanna! I truly believe I felt her flip during the morning hours of early labor. She was moving quite a lot and I distinctly remember a big movement that almost hurt. I’m 99% sure this is when she flipped. 

So with feet just dangling, we sat there waiting for another contraction for what seemed like forever! Everyone stayed very calm which kept me calm and focused. We just waited, giving my body time to do what it needed to do. 

I’m not sure if my uterus just thought it was done but this next contraction took a while to get here! If you’ve ever had a baby you know that once you deliver the head/shoulders the rest of the baby just kind of plops out. This does not happen when your baby is footling breech. My mind went there first. I just remember thinking to myself, “I’m going to have to do this completely backwards.” 

As painful as that thought was, I’m so glad I had it! It helped me to mentally visualize and prepare for the situation. I refused to think of the what ifs and just focus. 

Earthley

Another very light contraction came. I tried pushing through it and nothing happened. We decided a change of position would be best. So we very carefully took my from a reclined sitting position to upright, bent over the pool, holding onto Jimmy for stability. (Jimmy later told me that his legs fell asleep but he wasn’t about to move…he a champ!) 

Next contraction and some big big pushes later sweet little Joanna finally decided to make her entrance! She was perfect. She weighed in at 7lb 11oz and 20.5 in long at 4:30pm. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent nursing baby, showering, checking vitals every so often, introducing Jenna to her new baby sister…all while our amazing midwife’s cleaned everything up! 

Closing Thoughts

I could not have asked for a better, calmer, or more satisfying birth experience! At the end of the day a healthy baby is all that matters, good experience or bad, but I’m so glad we got both. 

Would you have a homebirth? Answer in the comments! I love chatting with you.

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An All-Natural Positive Hospital Birth Story: Jackson Keith

*Written by Anna Bourdess.

**This post contains affiliate links.

To understand our birth story a little better let me tell you about the weeks leading up to Jackson’s arrival. My pregnancy had been almost seamless up until 35 weeks. I had some pretty severe morning sickness the whole time, but, beyond that things had gone very well. 

At 35 weeks my blood pressure suddenly spiked. After visiting with my midwife and some testing, I was informed that I had, with no warning, developed preeclampsia. We weighed through together the benefits and risks of each decision and we decided that it would be best to try and get me to 37 weeks and then we would induce. I was put on bedrest and monitored my blood pressure closely at home. We ended up in the hospital twice before delivering Jackson, due to blood pressure spikes. 

PROM (premature rupture of membranes) 

Scheduled for induction the following Thursday, I woke up around four o’clock in the morning on that Sunday, to discover my water had broken. Only, I didn’t realize that’s what had happened. For me, it wasn’t like a movie scene where a huge gush of fluid splashes to the floor. It was more like a leaky faucet, and as any mama will tell you that feeling is pretty common those last months of pregnancy. Not realizing what was happening, I later went back to sleep and awoke to the same feeling around seven. By now I was suspicious. 

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My husband, Philip, had gone to do bus route and church that morning but, I had informed him of what I thought was going on and asked him to keep his phone close. At this point that “faucet” I mentioned earlier had sprung a few more leaks and I was feeling a lot of pressure, making it difficult to sit comfortably. Contractions started around nine and slowly increased in frequency and intensity but still very manageable. I called Philip at ten and suggested he come home. By the time he got there, things were picking up. Let me just pause here and say how thankful I am for my husband. He did amazing and I could not have had the birth experience I did without his support. 

We eventually make it to the hospital and they run all of their tests to confirm that I am actually in labor. My triage nurse was phenomenal. She explained everything she was going to do and asked permission for it all. I consented to a cervical exam and we found out I was at three centimeters dilation and eighty percent effaced. You don’t have to have cervical exams if you don’t want to, it’s completely your choice. Just remember, they typically don’t mean much as far as your progress goes. Things can change quickly with your progress or you could stall out. Every person’s body is different and each time can be different so don’t get consumed with your numbers. 

I desired greatly to have a natural, unmedicated delivery and tried my best in prayer and preparation to have the greatest chance of that happening. Once we were in a room, a nurse began bringing in a bag of Pitocin, to which I had not consented at the time. I politely declined and we tried some natural methods to progress my labor. At this time I was having consistent contractions, but they weren’t getting closer together or intensifying anymore. A few hours later, Philip and I discussed the risks versus benefits of beginning the Pitocin and decided it would be best to start the Pitocin to try and progress my labor. I could have delayed it longer, the risk was not high, it’s just what we felt was best for myself and baby at that time.

I had originally planned to be very mobile during labor and also use a birthing tub once at a certain point. Due to the preeclampsia, it was asked that I be monitored constantly which wasn’t a part of my plan, however, at the time I found it easier for me to be calm through my labor while listening to Jackson’s heartbeat, so I agreed. My nurses knew I desired to be up and moving and so kindly brought in a portable monitor since I wasn’t a candidate for wireless monitoring due to Jackson coming early. This allowed me as much mobility as possible, which greatly helped me manage my contractions. 

Beginning the Pitocin 

My nurse and I decided upping the Pitocin at half the usual rate would work best for my body. Since I was already showing signs of progression, we just wanted to give my body a little boost. Within thirty minutes of starting the Pitocin, things were progressing forward again. Since I couldn’t use the tub due to monitoring, I had to use other things in my arsenal of pain management. I brought several options since I didn’t know what I’d prefer. I ended up using a labor comb, and birthing ball the most. I had also practiced breathing techniques which were such a big part of my pain management. Philip was amazing in helping me achieve the unmedicated birth I desired. He was constantly giving counter pressure (which felt amazing), telling me how proud he was of me, and reminding me to relax my body and breath down. 

Transition 

After being on the Pitocin for a few hours, I requested a cervical exam again. To my dismay, I had only progressed to 4 cm. This is why I stated previously to not get focused on the numbers. Things can change fast, and they did for me. We pushed the Pitocin up slightly, one more time, and within 30 minutes my contractions were much more intense than they had been before. I was no longer able to speak at all through them and had entered “labor land” as many mamas have called it. Focusing on nothing but breathing and low moaning through each one.

I had been doing well with the mental game of labor but I hit a point of exhaustion and lost some of the control I had worked so hard to keep. My low moans turned into growls and became much louder than before. More like a grizzly bear if I’m being honest. At this point my nurse had come in when the next contraction hit. She saw me bare down and urged me to resist that feeling to push because if my cervix wasn’t dilated enough it would swell and birth would be much more difficult. I told her my body was doing that and I had no control. Stunned she said “Oh! would it be ok for me to check you again?” I agreed and she did a cervical exam. She leaped off the table and told me how proud she was of me and that I was doing it! I had gone from 4cm to 10cm in thirty minutes and we were about to have a baby!

Delivery

 Contractions were hitting back to back and at this point Philip was growing uneasy seeing me in so much pain, not knowing how to help ease it anymore. He said he was praying in his heart “Lord, I really wish Anna’s mom was here, she would know what to do”. He looked up and guess who was standing at the door? He said he mouthed “help me” across the room to her. I hate I missed that because it’s still hilarious to me that my husband needed my mommy for my birth.

We had originally planned for it to be just Philip and I, but I’m thankful my mom got to be in there. It was special. During all this, contractions are still hitting back to back and the nurse is calmly but repeatedly calling for the doctor knowing we don’t have long before this baby is here. The doctor made it in the room and barely got his gloves on when Jackson made his appearance. By now, he had triggered the fetal ejection reflex and in two pushes he was here. In Philip’s description it wasn’t a delivery, I launched him.

I heard that perfect little cry and they laid him on my chest while Philip laid above my head and sobbed. That will forever be one of my most precious memories. We did delayed cord clamping and his Daddy cut the cord when it was time. With him being early we weren’t sure what he would need so a NICU team was on stand by in the room. Originally, my plan was an hour of undisturbed skin to skin, however, with him being a preemie we knew he needed to be checked out quickly, especially his breathing. Once the cord was cut, I handed him to the nurses to be checked out and Philip followed to ensure all our wishes were honored. No eye goop, no shots, just checked, measured, weighed, and right back to mama if all was well. Praise The Lord it was, my little early boy was perfect in every way, to all the staff’s amazement and spent the next several hours getting all the snuggles. In fact, he’s still getting all the snuggles. 

Although everything about my birth wasn’t exactly how I had planned, I am still so happy with our birth story. Of course all that matters is a healthy baby, but having a no or low intervention birth was extremely important to me. I’m so thankful that The Lord heard that prayer and granted the natural delivery I desired. 

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It is possible to have an unmedicated, peaceful hospital birth. The biggest suggestion I have is do your research. Knowledge is power. Pray about what is best for you and then put in the work to be informed on your choice so things don’t surprise you. Babies don’t care about your plans. 

If you have any birth questions feel free to reach out. Nothing is TMI, I had so many questions as a first time mama and having people along the way to ask all my questions to was such a blessing. 

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