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Finding out you are pregnant with your first baby is such an exciting time! It can also be a scary time. So many unknowns, what-ifs, and let’s not even get into allllll the decisions!
That is why me and my long time friend, fellow mom, and co-writer Anna Bourdess have decided to do a series of posts on “What to Do…” throughout your first pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. These posts are formulated to be a simple, informative, and practical guide to your journey into motherhood.
When we first found out we were expecting, one thing that we for sure did not expect was how much information there is on pregnancy and all things baby. To say it is overwhelming seems like an understatement! Everyone has an opinion about this topic. We do not wish to be another voice out there saying what you need to or should do. Our purpose in these posts is to give first time mamas a quiet, peaceful place filled with encouragement, resources, and USEFUL information.
If you have any questions we would love to help you navigate this exciting, scary, and wonderful season of life with you! We are not experts but we have been there.
Here’s to momming in the 2020s!
The Most Life-Changing Word: Positive
You just found out you are pregnant! By now you have probably taken that first test, and another test, and maybe (if you are a reluctant believer), another test. Who knew that one little word could hold so much emotion- POSITIVE. Whether this is a complete surprise or you have been trying for many months/years can we just take this moment to tell you congratulations!
Motherhood is such a precious joy. You are about to enter a new season of life that will change you forever! You will never be the same person you were before becoming a mama, and all for the better.
After the high/exciting emotions begin to settle you may be left feeling like, “What do I do next?”. This is totally normal. Many of us spend lots of time and energy focusing on getting pregnant but not necessarily researching what to do when it happens. Now that you have that positive result you may be a bit overwhelmed by all the swirling opinions of online articles, family, and friends.
The first thing to do- breathe. You have forty weeks (with some exceptions) to enjoy this sweet little person growing inside you. Your body was made to carry this baby and you can raise him/her well. You’ve got this, mama!
Setting Up Your First Appointment
After that pause, the next thing you need to be working on is scheduling your first appointment- also called a confirmation appointment. Here’s everything you can expect at that first appointment…
- This appointment will likely be scheduled around eight weeks after your last period date. This can be frustrating because for eight whole weeks you may be wondering, “I am actually pregnant?”. If you have taken a reliable test, a second test a few days later, and begin to have symptoms of pregnancy (nausea, headaches, exhaustion, etc.) you can rest assured that you are likely pregnant!
- First they will likely want to test your urine for HcG and protein. This will confirm that you are pregnant and that all of your levels are normal.
- They will run routine check on your overall health such as blood pressure and weight at every check up.
- Most offices will then do a vaginal ultrasound to make sure everything is looking healthy. If your baby is old enough at this check up you may be able to hear his/her heart beat. The baby will probably look like just a blob right now but it will be the sweetest blog you have ever seen!
- You will likely meet one of the doctors in the practice to go through any discomfort or concerns you may have. This will be the time to let them know if you have any questions/concerns about the first trimester. You can even interview them at this time to see if the doctor/care group is a right fit for you but do not worry if you are not ready to do this quite yet- you will have plenty of time!
Finding Your Provider
Finding a provider that respects your values, has time for your questions, and makes you feel safe is so important! Here are a few things to consider when you begin your search…
Do you want a midwife or an OBGYN? This is a good place to start. Both come in many types and forms! Some midwives work under the umbrella of a hospital birth setting, while some only perform deliveries in home. Some have certain degrees/certifications and some do not. We will not go into all the details here so be sure to do your own research. However, the one main difference I have seen between an OB and midwives is the level of care and connection. If you are a more direct, to the point type person just here to get the job done you may appreciate the OB more than us slightly skeptical, questioning ladies who need that connection with our care provider.
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If you are looking to have a natural birth another great resource is looking at the c-section rates of the providers you are interested in. (You can find this information here!) If the rates are high you might want to take this into consideration.
Once you choose or if you already have and OB-GYN look up their c-section rates and the hospital where they will deliver. This is crucial to your birthing experience.
-Anna
Are they in network/budget? After narrowing it down to a few providers you are interested in check to see if they are within network if you have insurance. If you do not have insurance or you are using a midwife for a home birth you need to get a full breakdown of the cost per visit. This may sound overwhelming but it is a great way to eliminate your options.
Do they align with your values? They may not agree with you about how they like their coffee but you need to KNOW that your care provider has your best interest in mind. If you want a natural, unmedicated birth but your provider wants to induce every woman that comes into her office chances of your natural, unmedicated birth begin to fly out of the window. Regardless of if your provider says they will respect your wishes, you need to know that they will no matter what! Ask their opinion on unmedicated labor/delivery. Let them know up front what your expectations are. You are hiring them to work for you, not for you to mindlessly go along with what they say and pay the bill!
Remember you can always change your provider later on if you feel uncomfortable at any time or visit. If you are going through a network or care group you may be able to request certain OBs or NPs for appointments but you will likely be left to whoever is on call for your delivery.
Your providers are there to serve you. You can fire them if you do not like the care they are providing and get someone who is a better fit.
-Anna
Focus on Your Nutrition
Everything you do from now on not only effects you but it will effect your baby. The weight of that responsibility can seem so overwhelming at times but it starts here- everyday making the right choices for you and your little one! And it truly is simple (don’t overcomplicate it girl!).
Prenatals
Start your pregnancy off with good nutrition in the form of a QUALITY prenatal vitamin (a few of my favorites are linked below to help start your search). By quality I mean if it is in the form of a gummy and has 34 grams of added sugar….probably junk it!
- Pure Synergy Prenatal
- Mary Ruth Organics Liquid Prenatal (may be a good option if you cannot stomach a pill)
- Ritual Prenatal
You can start taking a prenatal right away. Personally I (Tori) stay on prenatals and likely will until I am done having babies. They are great to continue throughout postpartum. I highly recommend finding a good quality vitamin. I used the gummy junk ones my first pregnancy and noticed a big difference in my overall health with my second baby when I took a good vitamin.
Healthy Eating Habits
That prenatal is great but if you are not eating well your body will feel sluggish and you will likely be missing something you and the baby need. Here are a few tips to remember when it comes to food throughout your pregnancy…
- Protein. As Americans we are all very protein deficient. We eat well below the recommended serving for a day. While pregnant (unless told otherwise by your healthcare provider) try to shoot for around 80 grams of protein daily. If you are dealing with morning sickness and nausea protein is a game changer. You also may find that when you are nauseous the last thing you want is protein. Try to get as much as you can in any form your stomach can handle. (Good sources of protein: meat, eggs, cheese, yogurt, nuts, protein shakes, etc.)
- Fruits and Vegetables. This seems obvious but you will definitely need to stay up on the fruits and veggies. Dark green and leafy vegetables are an especially good source of iron and other nutrients you need while pregnant. Avocados are another very nutrient dense food to add to the list of pregnancy must haves. Berries are great and when added to a smoothie you may be able to stomach them better than eating them during the first trimester.
- Eat what you can eat. If you find that EVERYTHING is making you nauseous, just eat what you can eat. Even if it is not healthy. You are far better off to eat a slice of pizza that does not make you rush to the bathroom than to throw up every meal or simply not eat anything at all. More than likely your nausea will subside going into the second trimester and you will have more time to focus on getting nutritional foods. If you are having trouble to the point that nothing is staying down let your provider know and they may offer medication to help ease your symptoms. Eating little and often (small snacks every couple hours) can really help get food in you without overloading your fragile system. Hang in there!
I wish I would have made more of an effort to make the best choices to fuel my body. Make sure you are giving your body the best you can, growing a baby is hard work!
-Anna
Weight Gain
Some women are concerned about their weight-gain during pregnancy to the point of obsession. Can we just take a moment and say- you are growing a WHOLE HUMAN inside you and you are going to gain weight! It is normal and it is okay. If you are eating decently healthy and staying active you do not need to be overwhelmed by the numbers on the scale.
Getting Through to that First Appointment
The first trimester for some is full of the hardest weeks of pregnancy. Here are a few things you can expect to experience during the weeks leading up to your first appointment and into the second trimester…
- nausea/vomiting (known as morning sickness but can happen any time of day)
- headaches
- extreme fatigue
- mood swings
- cramping (light cramping like a period is normal; intense and very painful cramping is not normal and you should talk to your doctor about this BEFORE your eight week appointment)
With all this and maybe even more going on (hormones are CRAZY!!) you may be wanting to reach into the medicine cabinet for some relief….but you need to be careful. Many medications are not safe to take while pregnant and can harm your baby. Your doctor will likely give you a complete list of medications that are safe to take while pregnant but until then it can be scary trying to navigate what is safe. Below is a list of medications/herbs that are safe for most women to take while pregnant (if you have any medical problems please do your own research or speak to a doctor). They are also things that Anna and I took during our pregnancies…
- Tylenol (this is the only pain reliever/fever reducer deemed safe at this time. It is highly recommended to avoid ibuprofen.)
- Peppermint tea/oil for nausea and vomiting
- Earthley Feel Better Fast for colds, upset stomach, and fevers
- Earthley Cough B Gone for coughs and sore throat
- Ginger tea/gummies for nausea and vomiting
Have you heard of Earthly Wellness?
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Earthly is a company dedicated to providing only natural, herbal wellness products and supplements for the entire family! My favorite thing about Earthly is that each product quickly and accurately tells if I can use it safely while pregnant and/or nursing. They have everything you need to start your non-toxic, chemical free journey to wellness! Go check them out at the link below and use code CHOOSENATURAL to enjoy 10% off your first purchase.
You will want to stop all other medications that are not safe for pregnancy. Speak to your family doctor about what you need to take/not take during the first weeks before your confirmation appointment.
Read this post on How to Make it Through the First Trimester.
Take the Nap
One major part of pregnancy is the fatigue. Anna and I are both homemakers and had the luxury of napping throughout the day as needed. From the homemaker standpoint there can be a lot guilt associated with being “lazy” all day. Your husband is out working and here you are falling asleep in a pile of laundry!
After two pregnancies myself my biggest piece of advice for the first trimester is just take the nap. Do what you can but when you are exhausted allow yourself that rest. You will likely never get to sleep like you can before you have that first baby!
You are not being lazy- your body is making a person! In the second trimester you will likely get your energy back, and then some.
If you can, take the nap! This is your first baby, you will NEVER be able to sleep like this again. Just take the nap!
Conclusion
As crazy as the first trimester can be try to relax and enjoy it. When you are having a hard day let your mind wander to the fun baby things like nursery decor, baby names, etc. It can feel like forever but the first trimester will not last long. Most women begin to feel more like themselves around the twelve or thirteen week mark. If you do not that is okay too! Your body is doing amazing things- have some grace with yourself.
If we can help you in any way please reach out on our contact page or drop a comment below!
Co-written by Tori Ruckman & Anna Bourdess
