Written by Katie Ledbetter
When you become a mom you become an instant teacher. No one really tells you just how much babies don’t know. They also can never prepare you for the amount of learning you will be pouring into each life. With all this teaching comes one major handicap – the ability to shut it off when it comes to other people.
Women were designed to fill a need. God made Adam and gave him a job to do, but when He made Eve He simply made her so the man would have a help meet for him – he wouldn’t have to be alone. That leaves women with the unique ability to hone in on what needs in others are. When we see the needs we desire to meet the needs. This ability extends to our husband’s and then goes farther to our children and quite often to anyone in our circle.
When you take the ability to fulfill needs, and the natural ability to teach and nurture, it is a wonderful thing when targeted at children. It gives empathy, sympathy, compassion, and discipline to our little ones. When targeted at our husband’s these wonderful traits can become annoying.
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Proverbs 27:15-16
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.Â
Contention means to rule, to judge, to strive, a contest or quarrel, brawling. You see when we are the authority over our children we generally don’t allow them to be contentious, but when we as wife’s try to teach our husband’s a thing or two it places us as the authority and any man who’s a real man is going to see this as a challenge.
You were created to be your husband’s wife not his mother.
This is the most important attribute your children will learn from you. They will learn how to love and respect their father by how you love and respect him. Order in the home is so important. When Eve received her curse from God in the garden it ended in a way that most women today have a hard time stomaching.
Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
The husband was given a hard job that day, harder than the woman by far I believe. He had to rule (to govern) over his wife. This will never be an easy job for a man who has a wife unwilling to recognize her husband’s authority as given by God. When Eve was deceived in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:1-6) the serpent was speaking in plural forms. He was using pronouns like, “ye” and “your”. Those pronouns in Old English are plural. He was speaking to Eve about her and Adam. Eve then answers for herself and Adam with pronouns like, “We” and “ye”.
The whole conversation between Eve and the serpent is had with Adam there. The end of verse 6 says, “and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.” The first thing the accuser of the brethren did to deceive man was get his wife involved in making decisions for their future right in the face of her husband. He is still doing that today.
The hardest thing you’ll ever do as a young wife and mother is put yourself in your place. The hardest thing you’ll continue to do is keep yourself there. You will have so many opportunities to do one of two things in your home, 1) Shut up and follow or 2) Stand up and fight. Notice I didn’t say lead because standing up to lead is going against The Word of God and His mandate for your home. It will ALWAYS end in a fight.
Proverbs 21:9,19
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.Â
Proverbs 25:24
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
Young wife and mother learn this:
1. You were created to be your husband’s wife, not his mother.
2. You are a help meet for him. When he needs help he will ask for it. Help is not help when you feel ran over.
3. It’s not your job to teach him anything. That’s God’s job.
4. When he is wrong God will correct him.
5. Have compassion for him in knowing you are not accountable for his failures but he is.
6. Take joy and peace in accepting that you can only control you, so choose to control you well.
7. Rejoice with your husband. Be his friend and learn to have fun with him! Encourage him in his God-given purpose.
8. Let God be his God, let Jesus be His Saviour, let The Holy Spirit be his guide. He has a Creator and he does not need a re-creator. Don’t desire to be an idol he worships and changes for.
9. Pray for him in his role as the leader.
10. Teach your children how to treat their daddy. Your example will show them how to love, honour, and respect their father.
When you think your husband is in the wrong run to I Peter 3 and just begin to read. Don’t speak words you’ll regret, don’t become contentious, don’t pick a fight or be provoked into one, stop, steal away, and pray. Pray for him to have eyes that see truth and a tender heart to receive it. Pray for him to be wise in his decision making. Pray that The Lord will bless him in everything he does and fulfill his dreams. Then pray The Lord will help you love him more. It’s hard to stay angry with someone or controlling over them when you give them to The Lord and desire to love them more.
This job you’ve been given of teaching your children is not always easy. It will only be harder if you show them an example of a mother who never has to obey. Why should they obey you if you won’t obey God?
