I’m writing this for all the new dads, grandparents, friends of new mom, etc! You are the best support team we new moms have and we definitely need you in this first trimester.
Because many women wait to tell others they are expecting until after the first trimester you should consider yourself privileged to even know this information! The support team is pretty small right now. It probably consist of dad-to-be, close family members, and close friends only.
I had an awesome support “team” during the first trimester of my first pregnancy! This included my mom who is a mother of six, my mother-in-law (who prayed me through three months of constant poison ivy breakouts during pregnancy!), my amazing husband who was so good at dealing with my crazy hormonal self, and several ladies from church. They were so helpful during this time and I am thankful for each of them!
I decided I would make a list of some of the most helpful things the above mentioned did for me. If you find yourself on the support team but you really have no idea what you are supposed to do or say I hope this list helps! Remember each mom/pregnancy is different. What worked for me may not be best for everyone. Communicate with mom if you have any doubts to what she would want or need from you.
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Helpful Things to do for a Mom in Her First Trimester
1. A first trimester basket.
This may sound odd but one of the nicest things a friend from church did for me was put together a basket of things she knew I would need to make me more comfortable. She is a mom of four so she knew exactly what I needed! A few ideas for a “new mom” basket are a soft blanket, prenatal vitamins, vitamin water (helps with nausea), light snacks, etc.
2. Do chores around the house.
This was a big one that my husband took on. He would make meals quite often, clean up after himself more, and didn’t just expect that I would be doing everything as normal. If you are the husband, the grandma that lives close by, or the best friend I can promise that helping out with even the smallest things will be much appreciated!
3. Make a meal she’s craving or take her out to eat for what she’s in the mood for!
Let’s face it, food is a big deal during the first trimester! And pretty much the whole pregnancy. The first trimester can be a roller coaster of being so sick you do not want to think of food and craving something so bad you could cry. Make sure you stay up to date on what mom is craving. One day she may live something, the next she may not be able to stomach it.
4. Helpful advice from moms who know.
You get a LOT of advice when people first find out you are expecting! Some of it helpful, some of it not so much. To be honest, I do not remember most advice I have been given during pregnancy. However, there are a few people that I’ve been able to go to with questions/concerns that have been very helpful! I think the most important thing you can do is listen to the problems and let the new mom know that what she is experiencing is completely normal (unless of course it is a medical emergency).
5. Just be there.
Sometimes the emotional roller coaster can be a lot to handle. I honestly don’t know how my husband handled it but he did so amazingly great! He did not let my emotional state effect his reactions. He just hugged me, made me laugh, and sometimes made me just go to sleep. If you are a friend of family member that does not live close check in often to see how things are going. Just knowing someone cares can be a huge help!
6. Treat her as if she is already holding that sweet baby, after all, she is carrying him/her.
I think one of the most discouraging things about the first trimester (and pregnancy in general) is when people act as though you are not a mom until you deliver your baby. That baby is a life as soon as he/she is conceived. Just because there is no bump to touch, no kicks to feel, and no baby to physically hold does not mean that gal in the first trimester is not already a momma in her heart.
7. Help keep her mind focused on the positive.
I do not know about everyone else but pregnancy has been a huge mind game for me at times. Between dealing with hormones/all the emotions, the lack of sleep, and all the changes my mind can end up in a mess quick! One of the best ways you can help that new mom is to keep her focused on all the amazing things about pregnancy and motherhood. Do not discourage her with the top five reasons you hated pregnancy. You do not have to tell her all the details of your most traumatic birth story. If she asks be honest but nine times out of ten your negativity is not being helpful at all. Just be supportive and point her back to how blessed she is that God would give her a baby!
I hope these few tips were helpful! If you are a mom let us know what was the most encouraging things your support team did for you during the first trimester in the comments below. As always, that’s for reading!
